Cretin If Sidney Slopsoup ever finds his fortune again you ’ ll not see much of it . Pickles An unlikely scenario , unless of course , it is hidden in a bin behind the Horse and Hounds Hotel . Cretin My uncle found a scenario in a bin one time . Twaddle SYRINGE ! SYRINGE , Cecil . It was a syringe your uncle found in a bin . Pickles Correction ! It was a syringe his uncle PUT in a bin . Cretin He stabbed himself with it but ! Pickles According to Wild Will Tucker he ’ d been stabbing himself with it for nigh on three years now . Cretin Wild Will Tucker is a Scottish man and you can ’ t trust anyone whose emblem is a whistle . Twaddle A THISTLE ! The word is THISTLE . You can ’ t trust anyone whose emblem is a thistle . Cretin See ! See , Marmaduke agrees with me . Pickles Anyhow , you should be grateful to Wild Will Tucker , if he hadn ’ t arrived on the scene and applied a tourniquet your uncle would be dead . So go down to the end of the bar , wake him up and buy him a pint . Cretin I will do no such thing ! He applied the turn-my-key to my uncle ’ s neck ! What was he doing applying it to his neck when he got stabbed in the goolies ? Pickles Was your uncle sitting in the bin or what ? Cretin What would my uncle be doing sitting in a bin when he has a house with a big sofa ? Tell me that then . Pickles Your uncle lives in an old people ’ s home ! Cretin What is wrong with that then ? Its as nice a place as your house and he ’ s been happy there for the last forty years of his life . Pickles What age is your uncle then ? Cretin He will be sixty-six on his next birthday if people don ’ t keep stabbing him in the gools . Pickles Is he a truthful man — your uncle ? He wouldn ’ t tell a fib or anything — like about his age ? Twaddle I can ’ t see the relevance of this . The plain facts are — Cecil ’ s dear uncle was bleeding profusely from the left testicle and along came Wild Will Tucker and applied a tourniquet to his neck . Cretin That ’ s right ! That ’ s right , he nearly caused my uncle to die through fix —– afix —– a prick —– prixy —– by getting his fresh air pipe choked off . Pickles Yes ! Yes ! The little man is right , did I not run up and apply first aid ? Cretin Kicking people in the pogo stick is not applying first aid . Pickles Listen here Mister P Rick —– Cretin Duke is there not a law against people calling someone else Mister P Rick — cause I know what it really means .