Cretin If Sidney Slopsoup ever finds his fortune again you’ ll not see much of it. Pickles An unlikely scenario, unless of course, it is hidden in a bin behind the Horse and Hounds Hotel. Cretin My uncle found a scenario in a bin one time. Twaddle SYRINGE! SYRINGE, Cecil. It was a syringe your uncle found in a bin. Pickles Correction! It was a syringe his uncle PUT in a bin. Cretin He stabbed himself with it but! Pickles According to Wild Will Tucker he’ d been stabbing himself with it for nigh on three years now. Cretin Wild Will Tucker is a Scottish man and you can’ t trust anyone whose emblem is a whistle. Twaddle A THISTLE! The word is THISTLE. You can’ t trust anyone whose emblem is a thistle. Cretin See! See, Marmaduke agrees with me. Pickles Anyhow, you should be grateful to Wild Will Tucker, if he hadn’ t arrived on the scene and applied a tourniquet your uncle would be dead. So go down to the end of the bar, wake him up and buy him a pint. Cretin I will do no such thing! He applied the turn-my-key to my uncle’ s neck! What was he doing applying it to his neck when he got stabbed in the goolies? Pickles Was your uncle sitting in the bin or what? Cretin What would my uncle be doing sitting in a bin when he has a house with a big sofa? Tell me that then. Pickles Your uncle lives in an old people’ s home! Cretin What is wrong with that then? Its as nice a place as your house and he’ s been happy there for the last forty years of his life. Pickles What age is your uncle then? Cretin He will be sixty-six on his next birthday if people don’ t keep stabbing him in the gools. Pickles Is he a truthful man— your uncle? He wouldn’ t tell a fib or anything— like about his age? Twaddle I can’ t see the relevance of this. The plain facts are— Cecil’ s dear uncle was bleeding profusely from the left testicle and along came Wild Will Tucker and applied a tourniquet to his neck. Cretin That’ s right! That’ s right, he nearly caused my uncle to die through fix—– afix—– a prick—– prixy—– by getting his fresh air pipe choked off. Pickles Yes! Yes! The little man is right, did I not run up and apply first aid? Cretin Kicking people in the pogo stick is not applying first aid. Pickles Listen here Mister P Rick—– Cretin Duke is there not a law against people calling someone else Mister P Rick— cause I know what it really means.