Softhead Trouble was, that honking noise scared me every time I does press the rubber bulb on the end of that there trumpet thing with these here two fingers and this here thumb of mine. Pickles Marmaduke Twaddle was, by that time, really worked up: Twaddle Fart Purifier! MY FRIGGING ASS- The name of the invention was‘ Perfunctory Gas Neutraliser.’ Softhead With that there honking and all, people kept staring with their own two eyes. Pickles Thomas went on, regardless. Snipes And how exactly did it work Thomas?- Do tell us. Softhead
On that there escaping of gasses, I does have to push that there trumpet thing, with mine own two hands down the back of mine own trousers and press that there honker and a big puff of baking soda did belch out from mine own trousers legs. Twaddle Sodium bicarbonate concentrates, fast breed 29- to be precise! Really! Those not intellectually inclined should refrain from becoming involved in scientific matters. Snipes Didn’ t one young lad ask you, Thomas how were you were able to make such convincing sounds come out of that ah- ah- Perfunctory Gas Neutraliser? Softhead That he did do, Sir that he did do indeed. And his mummy reported me to that there bus-conductor and got me heaved off that there bus by this very seat of mine own pants. Twaddle Look Snipes!- If you are in the business of using a mentally ill equipped stooge to resolve your popularity problem I’ ll have no further part in it. Brudder I think, Snipes, you have had the floor for long enough. It would be in the interest of both yourself and Plonkton Hospital if you were to give it a rest. Conk Waaar blooood slud craapantak! Brudder What ' s he on about? Pickles He says, he is quite intrigued with Mister Snipes questioning and requests that he is allowed to continue. Brudder Is this the moment, Mister Twaddle? Pickles The little crap wart was prepared to have a go at my half-brother.‘ Have you a slam-donk basket at hand?’ I enquired of the little man who sent his British MENSA papers to Michael Miles. Brudder What for? What are you on about? Pickles‘ A slam-donk basket for your detached head- when Hamilton Conk has no more need for it.’ That shut up the nasty little blighter. Snipes I heard you were having some problems with the Scottish fraternity, Marmaduke? Twaddle Had it not been for the intervention of that great oaf, Sergeant Duncan Buttass, they would have been wad-