ing their way through haggis on the outskirts of Tillicoultry by now. Snipes But, there were rumours abound that you had slipped Sergeant Duncan Buttass a bung? Twaddle A bung? I have never heard the word mentioned- I’ m sure. Pickles Twaddle raised his eyes in my direction and checked out Hamilton Conk. Snipes No? Oh! That’ s all right then: you will not be interested in the reason behind your problems with the police? Twaddle Well! A passing interest perhaps. Snipes Mine will be a G and T. Thomas will have a pint, as will Fabian and his brother, Hamilton, and a half-pint for Jethro Noddler. Noddler No! Nothing for me. I thank you very much, just the same. Pickles The man who was in constant fear for his own life reneged, with a twitch of his shoulders. When the drinks were purchased Perkin Snipes related his tale: Snipes It has been brought to my attention, by a source close to Sergeant Duncan Buttass, that the bung ran out one hour before your attack on the Hammer and Cockroach. Brudder Don’ t believe him. Twaddle Hold on! Whilst I deny all knowledge of a so-called bung, how many hours would a hypothetical bung of say fifty pounds buy? Snipes Twenty-five pounds. I am led to believe it was a twenty-five pound bung- hypothetically speaking, of course. Pickles Marmaduke Twaddle’ s eyes narrowed. He turned on Basil Freeloader: Twaddle Mister Freeloader! I think you and I have an appointment, at my home, in Westway. Snipes Hypothetically speaking, of course, you live in Hopalong Cassidy Street. Pickles Twaddle gave Snipes a look that would have killed a donkey. I noticed Basil Freeloader trying to sneak out:‘ Oh! Mister Freeloader, just a moment, before you leave: My brother wishes to know who was supposed to have delivered that bung to Sergeant Duncan Buttass.’ Basil Freeloader eyed Hamilton Conk nervously. Freeloader Lizzie-- Lizzie Juggins. Yes, yes, it was Lizzie Juggins I so entrusted. My mistake! Sorry Mister Pickles and my very best wishes to you Mister Conk. Twaddle Lizzie, bloody Juggins, indeed! Get out at once, SIR. Some explanation is required. Pickles He and his entourage left and the last man slammed the door. The last man was Davy Brudder, of course, still acting‘ the hard man’. It is my intention to kick his little butt some night when he is on his own and my brother, Hamilton Conk is nearby. Snipes Steam is about to rise over Hopalong Cassidy Street and Westway- for that matter.