Pickles Marmaduke took out his little hooked pipe and took a lot of time to light it- to give himself time to think. If he had just been arguing with any of the rest of us he wouldn’ t have needed to resort to the pipe. Twaddle I should imagine Snipes that my impressive list of inventions by far exceeds your total contribution to society. Snipes I’ m sorry Marmaduke, it’ s just that it has been rumoured you have been seen putting the wheelbarrow down before turning corners. Twaddle What your informants have failed to note is that they have been spying on a prototype. The pre-manufacture model number MT F1 is safely under lock and key at an undisclosed venue. Cretin MT F1, I know what Marmaduke says is the truth for I seen it myself. Twaddle Saw it- SAW it myself. Cretin Yes-- I know you seen it first. You are the inventor, after all. Twaddle I think that will suffice, Cecil, before you risk putting your breeding under the microscope. Snipes And what about that other invention of yours, the‘ double-seater’ toilet bowl? Any movement on that yet? Pickles Perkin Snipes doubled over in laughter with the impact of his own pun. Softhead That was a good idea, for I did see it with these two eyes and did try it out with this here bottom. But would people want to sit beside each other when they are doing their business? That is the question I does think with mine own here head. Twaddle The seating arrangements were BACK TO BACK- for your information, Softhead. Softhead Ah! but then I does wonder with mine own head, would that not be a bit confusing when you-- well, you could wind up wiping someone else’ s- Twaddle Yes! Yes! Softhead that matter is well in hand! Pickles Twaddle’ s face was turning a sort of red and blue striped. Cretin The Duke is right. He says that can be sorted out by putting one toilet-roll on the right and the other on the left so that there’ s a kind of sideways movement when-- Twaddle OKAY, OKAY, Cecil. This is hardly the time or place for such considerations. We are here to partake in a little private business, after all. Pickles But Snipes wouldn’ t let the little man with the fat ass, off the hook: Snipes And the fart purifier; has there been much interest shown in that novelty? Softhead Yea- I tried that out for him with mine own-- Twaddle Yes! Thomas that was a private matter! You put your X on a document of non-disclosure and received due payment.