Pickles‘ You and who ' s Panzers?' I shouted in. Brudder He ' s a dead un, Mister Twaddle. Just you wait and see. Pickles I beat a hasty retreat back to the Speakeasy Club, shouting out to anyone willing to listen:‘ Anyone sees Hamilton Conk- tell him he’ s unbarred from the Speakeasy’! When I got to the club door, who do you think was standing there?
Correct!- My half-brother Hamilton Conk!
AT THE SPEAKEASY CLUB
Conk Wha noooo? Nobar nomooor? Pickles Which translates to;‘ What has come over you, dear brother, that I am no longer barred from your establishment?‘ Frig me! I knew you were fast- but not that fast,’ I patted him on the nose and invited him into the Speakeasy for a drink: Thomas Softhead,‘ my mate Thomas, was attending the bar. The only customers were, Perkin Snipes, the man who has a pension from the Army and Navy Stores and Jethro Noddler, a man who lives in constant fear for his own life. When he spied our Hamilton he almost had a fit and when Marmaduke Twaddle and his entourage arrived he almost became a total wreck, twitching, turning and jumping. He could not leave the club without having to pass the new arrivals. That was something he could not find the courage to do. Luckily, Thomas Softhead took the pressure off him: Softhead I does believe I sees Marmaduke Twaddle with mine own two eyes and I does believe I hear some funny friends with mine own two ears. Pickles The Twaddle mob had strode in as if they were Al Capone and his wise guys but when they spied our Hamilton their attitude changed and they took their seats quietly. Brudder and Gallowsbird may have been too much for Hamilton Conk but victory would almost certainly have been at the expense of one of them flying backwards through the front door and they knew it. Perkin Snipes, who of course, knew nothing of my predicament, shouted over at Twaddle: Snipes Marmaduke, my old friend, or is it Duke today, or perhaps, even Your Grace. What a pleasure to find myself in such exalted company. Pickles Olaf Gallowsbird is so thick he thought Snipes was being a gentleman but Davy Brudder was a little sharper: Brudder Want me to mark him out for special attention, Mister Twaddle? Twaddle Oh! Pay no heed to Mister Snipes, we are adversaries of long standing. Snipes by name and Snipes by nature. Snipes Any more inventions lately, Marmaduke? Twaddle My inventions are beyond the scope of your comprehension. Snipes So what about the wheelbarrow then?