Twaddle Ah , the little Welshmen , the Taffy Turds , as you prefer to call them : I ’ d have them forcibly removed to Anglesey , as the valleys are required by our native English . A little overcrowded I give you but -- Pickles Not quite as crowded as the Paddies Pricks - er - the Irish , I would suggest ? Twaddle I will thank you to mind your own business and keep out of ours , Pickles . Pickles Sorry , Sir - I do beg your pardon , Sir . Cretin Would you return the Scoucers to their own country , Duke ? Pickles And where would that be , Little Man , dare I ask ? Cretin What ’ s he on about now ? Twaddle Well , technically , Cecil , the Scoucers are defined as English , but they are not pure Anglican blood , being a mixture of Irish , Scots , Welsh , Ulster Drummers and a sprinkling of nomads from Barrow-in-Furnace . Cretin Would you just embalm them unto a ship and sail them all off to Liverpool ? Twaddle The word you erred in was embalmed , which should have read EMBARKED , but to answer your question , I would pass a law annexing Liverpool to the Isle of Man . The three-legged men would soon bring them to order with a few well directed strokes of their famed ‘ cat of nine tails .’ Pickles Excuse me , Cecil , but where , exactly , do you think Liverpool is ? Cretin Liverpool is in Scouceland , everyone knows that , my teacher taught us all that in our geometry classes . Pickles He wasn ’ t from Barrow-in-Furnace , by any chance ? Cretin Watch your mouth , Pickles ! Pickles ‘ Yes Sir ! Must watch that mouth of mine .' I don ' t know which of those two I hate the most . I keep a little black book but Twaddle and Cretin are filling it up rapidly . Anyhow , my little black book is a secret . Twaddle I suppose , Pickles , you will be putting my little friend , Cecil , in that daft black book of yours ? Pickles Swine ! Twaddle It is my intention to hold a public meeting on the ‘ Village Green with the Pump ’ I shall invite Olaf Gallowsbird and his Cidermen to keep order at the launching of this campaign . Pickles ‘ Cidermen ?’ I sighed , more like ' scrumpy louts '. Cretin And when is the big day Duke ? Pickles Twaddle took a deep breath and stuck out his fat chest : Twaddle Six-thirty on Friday evening . Sharp ! Mind you if you know what ' s good for you . Pickles I ' ll be there . You can trust me . Twaddle We do not want your sort . You ' re keep well away , if you value your health , you nosey Parker .