Twaddle Ah, the little Welshmen, the Taffy Turds, as you prefer to call them: I’ d have them forcibly removed to Anglesey, as the valleys are required by our native English. A little overcrowded I give you but-- Pickles Not quite as crowded as the Paddies Pricks- er- the Irish, I would suggest? Twaddle I will thank you to mind your own business and keep out of ours, Pickles. Pickles Sorry, Sir- I do beg your pardon, Sir. Cretin Would you return the Scoucers to their own country, Duke? Pickles And where would that be, Little Man, dare I ask? Cretin What’ s he on about now? Twaddle Well, technically, Cecil, the Scoucers are defined as English, but they are not pure Anglican blood, being a mixture of Irish, Scots, Welsh, Ulster Drummers and a sprinkling of nomads from Barrow-in-Furnace. Cretin Would you just embalm them unto a ship and sail them all off to Liverpool? Twaddle The word you erred in was embalmed, which should have read EMBARKED, but to answer your question, I would pass a law annexing Liverpool to the Isle of Man. The three-legged men would soon bring them to order with a few well directed strokes of their famed‘ cat of nine tails.’ Pickles Excuse me, Cecil, but where, exactly, do you think Liverpool is? Cretin Liverpool is in Scouceland, everyone knows that, my teacher taught us all that in our geometry classes. Pickles He wasn’ t from Barrow-in-Furnace, by any chance? Cretin Watch your mouth, Pickles! Pickles‘ Yes Sir! Must watch that mouth of mine.' I don ' t know which of those two I hate the most. I keep a little black book but Twaddle and Cretin are filling it up rapidly. Anyhow, my little black book is a secret. Twaddle I suppose, Pickles, you will be putting my little friend, Cecil, in that daft black book of yours? Pickles Swine! Twaddle It is my intention to hold a public meeting on the‘ Village Green with the Pump’ I shall invite Olaf Gallowsbird and his Cidermen to keep order at the launching of this campaign. Pickles‘ Cidermen?’ I sighed, more like ' scrumpy louts '. Cretin And when is the big day Duke? Pickles Twaddle took a deep breath and stuck out his fat chest: Twaddle Six-thirty on Friday evening. Sharp! Mind you if you know what ' s good for you. Pickles I ' ll be there. You can trust me. Twaddle We do not want your sort. You ' re keep well away, if you value your health, you nosey Parker.