Gallowsbird When my men get the scrumpy down their necks they will be well loaded and plenty will fall on their asses. Freeloader That ' s not exactly what your leader had in mind, Olaf. Twaddle But exactly what do you mean Sir? I am considered an expert at handling the media. Freeloader My apologies Your Grace. No, if you will forgive me. I suggest someone to ask questions directly related to the day to day running of our little town. Those are the questions you will handle with consummate ease. Your eloquent answers will be the instruments, which will get you into a position of power, after which you will be free to do as you please. Twaddle Yes! Yes, you are right, Sir. When I become a councillor I could then pack all those undesirables off to the destination of my choice. Can you imagine the look on the face of the Birkies as I frog-march long lines of Scoucers past their town? Freeloader Of course! You could, Your Grace. Now, may I take it your answer is yes? Twaddle Right! Okay! How much is that going to cost me? Pickles Marmaduke began to show signs of impatience with the man who treated his subordinates with contempt. Freeloader
Well now, Your Grace-- let us see. You will require orators of parliamentary standard, no!- Of cabinet standard. Ah! Yes, I think, with a bit of gentle persuasion we may be able to acquire such persons for the trifling amount of thirty guineas. Twaddle That’ s-- that’ s thirty pounds and thirty shillings- altogether? Pickles There was a slight tremble from Marmaduke Twaddle’ s pocket. It was his little pet purse in a state of shock. Freeloader And cheap at the price, Your Grace. I am sure the old Earl of Marm would have been proud of his successor. Now, if you will be good enough to make the cheque out to myself- I will pay for the transactions, and if it comes to a little bit extra, well, what’ s a few quid between friends? Pickles But still, the crawler who treated his subordinates with contempt pressed for more: Freeloader Perhaps, Your Grace would be interested in having his family tree traced and professionally presented? I feel sure the family armorial bearings are fascinating. Snipes Yea! A tin peashooter and catapult embossed upon a bottle cap. Pickles Perkin Snipes burst out laughing. Gallowsbird There is some swine out there! Pickles
‘ Come on! We’ re off,’ I grabbed Snipes by the arm.
AT THE SPEAK EASY CLUB
Pickles A few days after the meeting, Marmaduke Twaddle and Cecil Cretin walked into the Speakeasy Club. I
prayed that Gallowsbird wouldn’ t follow them in. Even he must have guessed that it was me who spied on