Gallowsbird When my men get the scrumpy down their necks they will be well loaded and plenty will fall on their asses . Freeloader That ' s not exactly what your leader had in mind , Olaf . Twaddle But exactly what do you mean Sir ? I am considered an expert at handling the media . Freeloader My apologies Your Grace . No , if you will forgive me . I suggest someone to ask questions directly related to the day to day running of our little town . Those are the questions you will handle with consummate ease . Your eloquent answers will be the instruments , which will get you into a position of power , after which you will be free to do as you please . Twaddle Yes ! Yes , you are right , Sir . When I become a councillor I could then pack all those undesirables off to the destination of my choice . Can you imagine the look on the face of the Birkies as I frog-march long lines of Scoucers past their town ? Freeloader Of course ! You could , Your Grace . Now , may I take it your answer is yes ? Twaddle Right ! Okay ! How much is that going to cost me ? Pickles Marmaduke began to show signs of impatience with the man who treated his subordinates with contempt . Freeloader
Well now , Your Grace - - let us see . You will require orators of parliamentary standard , no ! - Of cabinet standard . Ah ! Yes , I think , with a bit of gentle persuasion we may be able to acquire such persons for the trifling amount of thirty guineas . Twaddle That ’ s - - that ’ s thirty pounds and thirty shillings - altogether ? Pickles There was a slight tremble from Marmaduke Twaddle ’ s pocket . It was his little pet purse in a state of shock . Freeloader And cheap at the price , Your Grace . I am sure the old Earl of Marm would have been proud of his successor . Now , if you will be good enough to make the cheque out to myself - I will pay for the transactions , and if it comes to a little bit extra , well , what ’ s a few quid between friends ? Pickles But still , the crawler who treated his subordinates with contempt pressed for more : Freeloader Perhaps , Your Grace would be interested in having his family tree traced and professionally presented ? I feel sure the family armorial bearings are fascinating . Snipes Yea ! A tin peashooter and catapult embossed upon a bottle cap . Pickles Perkin Snipes burst out laughing . Gallowsbird There is some swine out there ! Pickles
‘ Come on ! We ’ re off ,’ I grabbed Snipes by the arm .
AT THE SPEAK EASY CLUB
Pickles A few days after the meeting , Marmaduke Twaddle and Cecil Cretin walked into the Speakeasy Club . I
prayed that Gallowsbird wouldn ’ t follow them in . Even he must have guessed that it was me who spied on