their H . Q . Twaddle Good Evening ! - - Peasants . Pickles Twaddle always has to knock people over , so he can stand on them and add another couple of inches to his own height . Luckily , there was no sign of Gallowsbird and I didn ’ t give a hoot about the two little twerps . Snipes I don ’ t really think I am in the mood for these two , having listened to that rubbish in the public toilets . Pickles I should point out - Perkin Snipes is not really a mate of mine . The only time I am friendly with him is when Twaddle is in the vicinity but I admire him because he can handle the little man with the fat ass , far better than I can . Twaddle Here you ! Yes you ! You sneaky little , ‘ Nosy Parker ’. Pickles The man with the fat ass pointed his pipe at me . Twaddle Were you listening to a private conversation in Daffodil place the other day ? Pickles Didn ’ t know anything could be private in Daffodil place . Cretin Don ’ t be getting smart with the Duke , or you ’ ll be smiling on the other side of your face . Nobody gets smart with the Duke when I ' m around ! Pickles Listen ! Little man - why don ' t you just crawl back into your local ? It ' s called the Hammer and Cockroach , after your father and mother , I believe . Cretin I think we ' ve got ourselves a ‘ smart-ass ' here . What do you think , Duke ? Snipes You can take it as gospel , that if either of you pair cause Pickles here to be hospitalised you will have to answer to his brother . Pickles My brother or rather , my half-brother , Hamilton Conk has a habit of ‘ pawing the ground ’, building up a burst of speed , and soaring into the air to ramrod enemies with a sort of flying head-butt Cretin His so-called brother has just head-butted Bishop Toeswellen through the vestry window . Snipes Well , the bishop must have given him good reason . Hamilton is not the type to cause trouble . Pickles Snipes grinned at his own little joke . Twaddle Indeed not ! What about the time he ramroded the ice-cream man who had run out of raspberry topping ? You are right ! It probably was Bishop Toeswellen ' s fault . Apparently he advised Conk to SEEK GRACE - but she turned him down . Pickles Marmaduke tittered and Cretin he-hawed . Cretin How is it that you are called Pickles , yet your so-called brother is called Hamilton Conk ? Pickles How is it you ' re called Cretin , when your father was called Hammer and your mother was called Cockroach ? Twaddle Hamilton Conk got his name due to his mother being impregnated by a Scottish Lowlander with a big nose .