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P a u z a
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UFO #2 [or whatever number we're on]
By Shaun Morrell
Readers of the
Harry Potter series
may raise an
eyebrow at this
particular item and
exclaim, "A laser
gun?
As you know, the Unidentified Foreign
Object (UFO) column is a beloved tradition of the Pauza, when we remember to
do it, wherein curious items not typically seen in Americaland are brought to
the public spotlight. This issue's UFO
examination brings us to that palace of
splendor we know as the Macedonian
toy store.
As you have no doubt already
been informed by a host country national, Macedonia is the Cradle of Civilization, the Gateway between East and
West, and the birthplace of Alexander
the Great, Jesus Christ, and the element
hydrogen. In light of its role as the fulcrum of all the world's cultures, it is no
surprise that Macedonia is the final destination of manufactured goods from all
over the world. Today's specimens are
imported toys from East Asia:
Harry Magic Gun
Readers of the Harry Potter
series may raise an eyebrow at this
particular item and exclaim, "A laser
gun? In a fantasy world incorporating
elements from ancient and medieval
mythology? That's ridiculous. What a
cheap ploy, slapping a popular character's visage on some generic, unlicensed piece of crap!" That is the sort
of thing one would say without
knowing that in the upcoming sixth
volume of the series, Harry becomes
an astronaut and travels to Proxima
Centauri to visit an advanced alien
civilization, returning to Hogwarts
with two things: the weapon pictured
here, and the realization that simply
zapping his enemies with a gun is far
easier than memorizing a bunch of
contrived Latin phrases.
Dancing Michael
I believe this product speaks
for itself. "Let's dance with me" indeed.