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Butcher, pastry shop, restaurant. Okay, looks like the
boring part might be over. Whoa, would you look at
how short that skirt is. I bet her uh, her uh, uh, legs are
really cold! Ah, Universal Hall, let’s check out the posters and see who’s coming to town.
Big Pooh! Is there really such a
person as Big Pooh? It says he’s
“From United States.” He looks
like a rap singer but I think they
all have to have “Ice” in their
name, like Ice Pooh. Gee, I wonder if his parents were A.A. Milne
fans? I think I might just have to
skip this one and wait for something more hip, like a middle-aged
Elvis impersonator.
And look there, it’s the Barbie
store. Can you believe it, an entire
store dedicated to a 9 inch plastic
doll with 50 or 60 professions and
enough pink recreational equipment to send Mary Kay into a jealous rage. So there you have it,
Barbie and Big Pooh, we really do
know how to export the very best
of American culture. There’s the
EZ Pro Tobacco store just in case
you are no longer an amateur
smoker and the Café Caffe, original name. Now the Biblioteka, hmmm must be a bookstore. Oh I see, it’s wine,
liquor and cigars for people who like to read or at least
think about reading or maybe tried to think about reading
at one time while they were smoking and drinking.
Travel agent, travel agent, bank, travel agent, travel
agent. “Madness,” better stay away from that place, I’ve
already got some.
Finally, the Plostad. Pay your respects to Mother
Teresa’s birthplace and buy some chestnuts roasting on
an open fire. And what’s with all these guys trying to
see how many little balloons they can stuff into a bigger
balloon? BAM! I guess 10 are too many.
VOLUME 5 ISSUE 1
Now let’s check out all the merchants on the Stone
Bridge or as I call it “Bridge-Mart.” “Chorapi,
chorapi,” “ne fala, imam.” “Chorapi, chorapi,” “ne
fala, imam” “Chorapi, chorapi, rakavica,” Oooh, knit
gloves, let’s see. Yup, hold both of them together
and you can still see light through them. “Ne fala.”
Oh score!! A Norelco electric razor for 250 MKD.
Wait a minute, that says “Noelco.” Probably doesn’t
work, but then again, I don’t shave – sounds like a
match made in heaven.
And finally, the end of my journey, the Stone Bridge
Hotel – 5 stars and not making a profit. Kind of like
a Woody Allen movie. And beyond lies the wonders
and mysteries of the Old City, the Bit Bazaar and
Plastic Alley – treasures and adventures too numerous to relate so that will have to wait for another day.
For now, it’s time to get a cup of coffee at my favorite café. The coffee is not all that good but they have
a great bathroom.
Priat…wait a min…, let’s check out that sudden
commotion out on the road. Holy smoke, that looks
like Madonna, Ronaldinho, the Pope, and some guy
in a green sweater cruising by, waving to the crowd.
What a lot of noise and cheering. Let’s ask someone.
“Zboruvash Angliski?”
“Da.”
“So, what’s going on here? Is that who I think it is?”
“Da, it sure is. I can’t believe that he’s actually here
in person. This is the highpoint of my life. I mean, I
don’t know those 3 people who are with him, but the
one in the green sweater is Komandant Koki!”