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A WALKING TOUR OF SKOPJE
or, Who is Komandant Koki?
By: Jim Carl
As many of you know, I do not own a car in Macedonia. Some may consider me a traitor to my gender
but I believe that cars were invented by an evil wizard
or possibly Satan himself specifically to vex me, bleed
me of cash and generally make my life miserable. If
humans were intended to have cars, we would all have
been born with a parking space. Consequently, I enjoy
not needing a car in Skopje. Not only do I get to talk
to a lot of interesting cab drivers but in decent weather
I get to demonstrate my considerable and rather impressive skills as a pedestrian.
And so as not to keep the more fascinating aspects of
walking in Skopje as my own little secret, you are invited to enter into my mind and join me as I walk
through our fair city from the Partizanski Bridge over
the Vardar (near Vlae) to the Stone Bridge downtown.
Please be warned that entering my mind does come
with certain hazards mostly related to excessive clutter. Should you encounter some
(and it would be nearly impossible not to) feel free to dispose of
it or just kick it aside if it’s in
your way. Most of it is very old
and useless, and given my advancing years it is highly likely
that I have totally forgotten that
it’s there.
started walking around Skopje. At first, trying to cross
the street was terrifying, then it became merely challenging. Now it’s sport. Hey Buddy, no fair driving
down the sidewalk, that’s cheating.
I never saw that bicycle shop before – let’s look in the
window. Le, le, le, le! That bike costs 82,070 denar!
Who in Macedonia rides a bike worth 82,070 denar?
My car in California isn’t worth that much. Most of the
bikes I see in Skopje look like WWII survivors and if I
walk briskly, I can usually pass them, especially if there
is a moderate head wind. But 82,070….oh, look they
also have bike helmets; I wonder if they’ve ever sold
one?
Uh, oh, try not to look. It’s Dr. Claus. MMMMM, Dr.
Claus, breeead! Dr. Claus, paaaastry, mmmmm, Dr.
Claus, ice creeeeeam. Get thee behind me Homer
Simpson! If I walk close enough to catch a whiff of
anything baking that is made predominantly of white
flour, sugar, butter and lots of gooey things I’m
doomed. Doomed I say. Maybe if I force myself to
look the other way….oh, it’s the Fun House, I wonder
what they do in there? Let’s have a peek. Ahh, just
children’s birthday parties. Not the kind of fun I was
hoping for. With three grown children I’ve seen my
share of children’s birthday parties and “fun” is not the
word that comes to mind. Especially
that one with the piñata where the kid
swung wildly and….oh, never mind,
best to not think about that.
Ajde!
Ah, the mighty Vardar, complete with fishermen but
apparently no fish. They never seem to catch anything
and they don’t seem to mind. Someday, maybe someone will discover bait for catching plastic bottles, then
they could all catch their limit and perform a civic duty
at the same time. And
there it is, the Damit
furniture store. I had
some of their furniture
(used) when I was in
college. With springs
and other stuff poking
out, everyone who sat
down said, “damiit” .
Time to cross the street, Ha ha, you missed me!!
Oops, didn’t see you. I can remember when I first
Bear with me, here comes the boring
part. Apartment building, apartment
building, house, apartment building,
Komandant Koki…who is Komandant
Koki? House, apteka, house, and another apartment buildi ?r??VB????F?B???????W6R?'F?V?B?'F?V?B?B????F?B????v???vV????F??( ?B???rv??F??2wW??2'WB?P?6VV?2F??v???bF?R'F?V?B'V??F??w2??F??27G&VWB??W7B&R&?6?wW??W&^( ?26??R????6???6???????p?w&f?GF??( ?6V????B?2?6V&R?P??Fv?f&?&VB&?r?( ??V???BF?@?v?W2F?V&?Rf?"V??Rv??7&???@???F?R6?FW2?b'V??F??w2( 2W7V6??????RF?B?v?B&R?v?VB'?????F?@???????