2. STEP BACK. Some parents
have trouble trusting that a
school will care about their child
as much as they do. And it’s
true—teachers won’t treat your
child like a parent would. They
will probably expect more. And
they will care about your child as
educational professionals, who
want to challenge your child so
she can realize her potential, so let
them do their jobs. Smart parents
know that school is not just about
academics. When your child is in
school, she is learning how to be
a member of a community. She
is learning how to socialize and
enjoy playtime. She is learning
how to express herself through art,
music and physical activity. So take
a leap of faith. Remind yourself
that the folks who run schools are
trained professionals. Trust them
with your child’s daily education
and well-being. Then your child
will experience every day as an
adventure in learning and growing.
3. BE POSITIVE AND
PROACTIVE. Try to find
something to like about your
school on a regular basis. If you
don’t know what to like then
you might not be aware enough.
Have a working knowledge of the
school layout. Introduce yourself
to teachers on open-house days
and meet the folks who work in
the front office, including the
principal. Make sure the teacher
knows you are on her team. If
you have a miscommunication or
misunderstanding with a teacher
or administrator, strive to work
things out in a calm, pro-active
manner. Don’t hang on to negative
perceptions or try to create
negative consensus with other
parents. Confident, secure parents
seek solutions not squabbles.
Put yourself in the teacher’s or
administrator’s shoes before you
pick up the phone or shoot off
that e-mail. Remember, the way
you would like to be treated is the
way to behave, always, no matter
how you feel in the heat of the
moment.
4. GIVE WITHOUT STRINGS.
Whether you work full time or
not, there are typically two types
of parent volunteers: those who
willingly pitch in and help and
those who don’t want to spend
time at school but do it for their
kids. Be honest about the kind of
parent you are, so you can find
ways to be a cheerful contributor
to the school.
If you like to pitch in, join the PTA
or sign up to be a room parent. You
will find plenty of opportunities
to contribute, but do so without
expectations of payoffs for your
child based on your involvement.
The benefits for your child will
come when you happily contribute,
not when you use your position
as an insider to create an ongoing
list of how you would do things
differently and better. Remember
your role as a helper in the larger
scheme of things. Be service-
minded, looking for opportunities
to match the school’s needs with
what you have to offer. Do your
best not to criticize parents who
are less committed to volunteering
than you, unless you wish to be
judged back.
If you don’t want to spend a lot
of time at school, acknowledge
that your child could benefit
from seeing you at school once
in a while, whether you enjoy
volunteering or not. Break the
school year up into three parts and
try to pitch in to help or chaperone
at least once each season. If you
have a spouse, get them involved.
And don’t feel guilty about not
being a parenting association
volunteer. There are plenty of ways
to contribute that don’t funnel
through the PTA. Give money to
financially support the programs of
the PTA, if you can swing it. Then
go to your child’s teacher when
looking for ways to contribute in
proximity to your child.
No matter how you choose to
contribute, when you give the way
you want to give, you set a great
example for your kids. Parents
who invest energy cheerfully and
proactively in their child’s school
stand out in the crowd for all the
right reasons, paving the way
to success in school for all their
children.
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