No More Have-To Holidays!
How To Keep Your Family Happy This Holiday Season
By Christina Katz
C
rowds, traffic, in-laws, extra bills to pay — no
wonder the holidays stress so many people out. If
you are one of these people, you are not alone.
According to some reports, up to 90% of all adults
become stressed about at least one aspect of the
holidays. And the holidays are especially stressful for
women, who shoulder the brunt of the scheduling,
planning, shopping, and cooking each year.
This year can be different. If you are prepared to take
your mood from stressed to holly-jolly. When you are
ready, call on this list of radical advice for grinning all
the way through your holidays, rather than grinning and
bearing it from mid-November through early January.
1. Take charge. Declare yourself your life’s official cruise
director. If you are waiting for others to make you
happy — and feeling disappointed or resentful because
they don’t try hard enough or try but miss the mark —
stop. Make a bucket list for your life of everything you
have always wanted to do and start checking off peak
moments as soon as possible. Then, when you are done,
put the whole family through the bucket-list making
process. Two books by author Lara Krupicka, Bucket List
Living For Moms and Family Bucket Lists, make bucket
list creation process a lively adventure the whole clan can
enjoy on a chilly afternoon or evening.
2. Determine your holiday preferences. If you feel like every
holiday is already planned out for you by your extended
circle of family and friends, you may have never actually
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considered what you prefer. Choosing not to choose is
actually still a choice — but not a very good one. Ask
yourself the question, How do I really want to spend my
holidays? And then answer it honestly. And be specific,
not just vague or reacting against what you don’t want.
For example, if you’d rather wake up in a ski lodge
on Christmas morning and have someone else serve
breakfast, lunch and dinner so you can hit the slopes
with the fam’, so be it! Contemplate what you want
– what you really want – so you can share your needs
honestly with others.
3. Share your vision with your immediate family. If your family
loves you, and I assume they do, then your vision for
the holidays matters to them. Even if they don’t share
your enthusiasm for Black Friday shopping, Christmas
caroling, and marathon tree decorating, everyone should
be able to accommodate everyone else in the family.
Who knows? Maybe by the time you are done regaling
the neighborhood with “Oh, Holy Night” and “Rudolph
The Red-nosed Reindeer,” everyone will be shivering
and laughing in that ineffable way that makes life-long
memories.
4. Give each immediate family member a chance to chime in.
Okay, so you have gotten clear on the ways you enjoy
spending the holidays. Now it’s time to encourage the
rest of your family to share what they want. Come on
now, they tolerated your eccentricities and now it’s your
turn to back them up. And yes, you have to attend the