RELATIONSHIP
POST-MODERN
where partners firmly invested in an emotional relationship with each other are free to look for sexual gratification elsewhere . Two years into the new arrangement , they are happier than before . “ We both go out on dates with people we meet at online chat rooms and dating websites ,” says Latika . “ The idea is to be 100 per cent honest with each other about who we are sleeping with . It has worked wonderfully with us , and I have been able to explore new fantasies and ideas that were not possible with my husband alone .” There is , of course , a price to pay — the couple take care to avoid mentioning the nature of their relationship to their family and friends who wouldn ’ t be able to understand it due to being socially conditioned to be judgemental about sexual matters .
In a way , such relationships boil down to “ I might go looking outside for sexual gratification , but at the end of the day , I come back home ,” according to Dr Preeti Singh , senior consultant ( psychology ) at Paras hospital in Delhi . “ Unlike a few generations ago , it is no longer necessary to find a correlation between sex and love . Many couples venture out to find new experiences of sex and intimacy , not necessarily with their partners ,” she says .
ACCORDING to British sociologist Anthony Giddens , modernity has transformed marriage and relationships from traditional structures to a medium of self-discovery and self-identity . This means the individual sticks to a relationship only as long as they see personal growth it . “ This has also transformed the idea of intimacy ,” says Kaur “ Though as many people are getting married as ever , now they know it is not forever .” Obligation has given way to convenience as people want partners who understand their needs , desires and ideas .
This brave new world of open relationships has not just caught the fancy of individuals , but is also manifested in social media , websites and apps looking to fulfil their specific needs . For instance , Ashley Madison ,
a Canada-based online dating and social networking service for people who are married or in relationships , founded in 2002 , markets itself with the tagline : “ Life is short . Have an affair .” An Indian equivalent , Gleeden , is specifically designed for couples looking for sexual encounters and relationships outside wedlock . The app has already got more than 2.5 lakh active users in India and encourages couples in open relationships to find new encounters on a safe and secure interface . “ The idea is to raise a debate and overcome the taboo on open relationships ,” a Gleeden representative tells Outlook .
So is being “ post-marriage ” driving an era of emotionless sex and mindless physical gratification ? Sugandha *, a 20-something Mumbai-based professional , claims to
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