Being present means being able to focus our attention fully on another, even if it’s just for a brief period of time. By doing so, the other person feels seen and cared about. By neglecting to do so, the other person feels neglected and unimportant. It is our ability to be "present" that makes "quality time" occur in relationship interactions.
In reality, being more present will enhance all forms of relationships. But the closer the relationship, the more need for the willingness to be present. If this skill is poorly developed or we are simply not conscious of it’s importance, relationships will not be deep.
One simple way to improve any relationship is to consciously let yourself be fully present with the other person for a few moments and watch them respond in a positive way. You do this by focussing all your attention on them and emptying your mind for the moment, of all other things. Be curious about all you can notice about the other, either through observing or questions. Show interest. Love!
A powerful, but simple, exercise that couples can do to be more fully present with one another, is to look into each others eyes and breathe together for just a few minutes. As simple as this sounds, you might be amazed at the unusually deep contact that can be made by doing this.
During the falling-in-love stage of an intimate relationship, we find it easy to be fully present and attentive. But after the relationship grows older, the skill of presence often seems to disappear. But the good news is that simply deciding to be more present with another and doing it, will usually enhance intimacy. Many problems in the relationships can disappear with an increase of presence.
So, I invite you to notice just how often you are fully present with your partner. And ask yourself, what are you missing out on?
Tracey is a life coach, holistic health practitioner, and seminar facilitator who
focuses on shifting the perception of women to inspire them to live with passion and purpose. She is the proprietor of Pathways to Whole Living, a holistic wellness center in Bel Air, MD.