The Growing Edge
Feelings - The Keys to Unlocking Who We Are
Our feelings or range of emotions that we possess as a human being extend far beyond the mere scope of romantic love! Our feelings are an ever changing and evolving blueprint that maps out whom each of us are as a person.
Ever been told that you’re too emotional? I have been. I’ve been told many times that I wear my emotions/feelings on my sleeve and therefore I’m too easy to read – too predictable perhaps. When you’re told this, I think the automatic reaction is to be filled with regret. No one wants to believe that they’re an open book to other people. But have you ever pondered why that is? Why would it be so bad to be interpreted so easily by others? The obvious answer seems to be because it makes one extremely vulnerable.
Think about it…if your emotions/feelings are so easily discerned, do you not make yourself available for some sort of letdown? Often our expectations are rarely met. We try to keep them in check and not project them on to others but inevitably, you as an individual have a certain opinion or hope as to how others will treat you. This holds true in every aspect of life, whether it is romance, career, family relationships, friendships or whatever. Those expectations if worn on the proverbial “sleeve” leave very little room for doubt. Because they may seem so firmly in place to the people who matter most to us, those same people may feel they can’t offer anything close to what you seem to want. Thereby, they disappoint us…we are let down.
So what is the fix for the problem? Most people retreat inside of themselves and attempt to mask what they feel to avoid this very scenario. On the surface, it may seem to be a good plan. We hide our emotions/feelings from others. They have no indication of what we want, so they can’t feel threatened or in danger of letting us down. What could be more ideal? We aren’t engaged by the people we encounter, because we shut ourselves off from emotional contact thereby eliminating the chance to be hurt. No harm, no foul, right?
Ah, but there is harm – a great deal and we see this played out on the stage of life on a daily basis. Those persons who have elected to shut themselves off from their feelings/emotions – to disengage with that portion of their being that is meant to give their life meaning and spark, lead lives of emptiness. That emptiness which needs to be filled, cries out for attention and the persons who have embraced that way of life will cling to the most destructive forces imaginable to try and fill that void: alcohol, drugs, and addictions of every sort.
by Cathy Robinson