QUICK INVOLVEMENT
A victim often has known or dated the abuser for
a brief period of time before getting engaged or
living together. The abuser will pressure the victim
to commit to the relationship. A victim may be made
to feel guilty for wanting to slow the pace or end the
relationship.
An abusive person is easily insulted, perceiving the
slightest setbacks as personal attacks.
CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR
CHILDREN
An abuser expects the victim to meet all of the
abuser’s needs, to take care of everything emotionally
and domestically. This is a person who punishes animals brutally or
is insensitive to their pain. The abuser may expect
children to perform beyond their capability (for
example whipping a two-year-old for wetting a
diaper, or teasing children or siblings until they cry).
ISOLATION “PLAYFUL” USE OF FORCE IN SEX
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
An abuser will attempt to isolate the victim by
severing the victim’s ties to outside support and
resources. The batterer will accuse the victim’s friends
and family of being “trouble makers.” The abuser
may block the victim’s access to use of a vehicle,
work, or telephone service in the home.
BLAMES OTHERS FOR PROBLEMS
This behavior includes restraining partners against
their will during sex, acting out fantasies in which
the partner is helpless, initiating sex when the
partner is asleep, or demanding sex when the
partner is ill or tired. The abuser may show little
concern for his partner’s wishes and will use sulking
and anger to manipulate compliance.
An abuser will blame others for all problems or for
the abuser’s own shortcomings. Someone is always
out to get the abuser or is an obstacle to the abuser’s
achievements. The victim or potential victim will be
blamed for almost anything. VERBAL ABUSE
BLAMES OTHERS FOR FEELINGS RIGID SEX ROLES
An abuser will use feelings to manipulate the victim.
Common phrases to look for: “You’re hurting me by
not doing what I want.” “You control how I feel.”
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HYPERSENSITIVITY
Summer 2017 | NURAMagazine.com
This behavior involves saying things that are
intended to be cruel and hurtful, cursing or
degrading the victim, or putting down the victim’s
accomplishments.
The victim, almost always a woman, will be
expected to serve. For instance, a male abuser
will see women as inferior to men, responsible
for menial tasks, stupid, and unable to be a whole
person without a relationship.