Nura Magazine NURA Magazine Summer 2017 | Page 51

DUAL PERSONALITY “DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE” Explosive behavior and moodiness, which can shift quickly to congeniality, are typical of people who beat their partners. PAST BATTERING An abuser will beat any partner if the individual is involved with the abuser long enough for the cycle of abuse to begin. Circumstances do not make a person have an abusive personality. THREATS OF VIOLENCE This consists of any threat of physical force meant to control the partner. Most people do not threaten their mates, but an abuser will excuse this behavior by claiming, “Everyone talks like that.” BREAKING OR STRIKING OBJECTS This behavior is used as punishment (breaking sentimental possessions), or to terrorize the victim into submission. ANY FORCE DURING AN ARGUMENT This may involve an abuser holding down the victim, physically restraining the victim from leaving, or pushing or shoving. Holding someone back in order to make demands, such as, “You will listen to me!” is also a form of force. In closing, there is an urgent reason why I titled this article “When to Walk Away.” In spite of any intimate partner’s abuse that has already occurred, the utterly most dangerous time for a woman in a domestically violent relationship is when she leaves. Statistics illustrate that women who leave their abusers are at a 75% greater risk of being killed than those who stay. Furthermore, on average, a woman attempts to leave seven times before she actually does. So for those who ask, “Why doesn’t she just leave?” well this is why! Here is what you can do. There are countless organizations dedicated to intimate partner violence. Since our Nura readers are so vast, if you are a victim of domestic violence (of any form!) Please call: The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799- SAFE **Safety Alert**: Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are afraid your internet usage might be monitored, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799- SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224. Have a question for the therapist? Submit your questions to Nura Magazine! For more on Janine Muhammad go to www.CenterForStrongFamilies.org or email her at [email protected] NURA Magazine 51