“I began cross-dressing in June last year. I’ve always been a man and gay. I’ve
been at it for years, and I felt it would be more exciting to engage with normal
men. They kept saying, put on some makeup – you’ll look prettier that way. So I
put on some makeup, and I looked really good. When I went out after that, a lot
of men seduced me, because I felt this really worked for me.”75
Chengcheng is very clear about his sexual orientation, but he married under social
pressure. He engages in sex work as a cross-dresser for economic reasons: “I’m
definitely gay. I’m married and having a hard time making ends meet. I go out at night
dressed as a woman to make money, but during the day I can’t look like a woman.”76
For Xiaoyu, a native of the northeast, the reasons for cross-dressing are very complex:
“I think there are many reasons. If as a gay I found a man who’s very rich or
whom I like a lot, I wouldn’t do this [cross-dress]. But in the gay community
it’s very hard to find the type I like, because I like very straight men, and by
putting on makeup I can meet a lot more of the kind of men I like. Also, putting
on makeup makes you feel like a mature woman, and a lot of men will pay you
attention.”77
Xiaoyu has breast implants, partly in order to explore a different gender: “I got implants,
first of all to make more money, and secondly because I wanted to find out what
it would feel like to be a woman. Because 80 to 90 percent of gays have a female
mentality. As for changing my sex, that’s impossible, because that affects your whole
body and is harmful to your health. This [breast implants] is reversible; I wanted the
process of feeling.”78
Family Relationships
The dual taboo against being transgender and engaging in sex work has led most of the
interviewees to choose not to reveal their identities or work to their families. Among our
interviewees, 97% had chosen to leave their hometown and the people and societies
with which they were familiar, and were struggling for survival as strangers in the
relatively open-minded environments of major cities, where they do not have to worry
about their families’ objections and can live as they choose.
75 Interview with Zhou Xinyu, Shanghai, March 4, 2014.
76 Interview with Chengcheng, Shanghai, April 7, 2014.
77 Interview with Xiaoyu, Shanghai, April 14, 2014.
78 Ibid.
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