the best thing to hold onto in life is each other
– AUDREY HEPBURN
references :
Sweatt-Eldredge , C . ( June 14 , 2017 ) Do you really need premarital counseling ? https :// www . psychologytoday . com / us / blog / the-connectedlife / 201706 / do-you-really-need-premaritalcounseling
The Enneagram Institute , 2021 . www . enneagraminstitute . com
Many couples often overlook this aspect of getting married . It is easy to get caught up in the excitement of planning a dream wedding with birds and butterflies circling your head . Even with divorce rates inching down in the United States , many couples still choose to end a marriage . Amy encourages couples , “ Do your guests a favor and invest in your marriage . You can invest in the front end or pay for it later .” Premarital coaching sessions typically range from $ 800 - 1200 and entail 6 - 10 sessions , depending on the couple . Amy finds it is ideal to start about 6 months prior to your big day , completing your coaching sessions at least 3 weeks before you say " I do ." These sessions are too important to be rushed during the last crazy weeks of planning your wedding .
Coaching creates a foundation for a successful marriage . Every couple is different and not one size fits all . Some couples want to go really deep and discover new things about each other , while others might want to better understand the basic building blocks of a successful marriage . Either way , when you are willing to be vulnerable and open to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work , those are the couples who can find success through premarital coaching .
Many brides and grooms have avoided premarital counseling because they do not want to follow the same rules as their parents or grandparents . But today ’ s engaged couples need to see this as their thing , investing in their future , creating a marriage that will be long lasting .
So what kind of topics might you discuss in premarital coaching ? Amy is careful not to put everyone in the same box , but to tailor her coaching to each couple ’ s individual wants and needs . She first does an assessment to better understand the couple , then they work through different styles of communication , intimacy , problem-solving and more to figure out how to mesh your differences . Of course , everything is confidential .
Amy also gives couples exercises to do together . First of all , “ Stay connected to each other during the planning process .” Planning the big event should be something the two of you do together . She assigned one couple to hug for 60 seconds each morning and night , every day . And not just a quick hug , but a deep , long lasting hug , holding each other until you feel the tension melt away . This simple , physical act of embracing each other and truly feeling your future spouse as your life partner creates deep bonds . Four years later , this now married couple says they still do this exercise every day , helping them to stay grounded and connected to each other .
Phillip Wright , local wedding officiant , has officiated weddings for over 25 years . While he does not offer premarital counseling or coaching to couples , he does visit with couples prior to their wedding day and encourages them to seek a better understanding of each other . “ We bring to our present relationship what has shaped us from past relationships and the modeling of relationships we have seen .”