SETTING YOUR MARRIAGE up for success
WRITTEN BY | MEG DANIEL PHOTOGRAPHY BY | CHRISTINA ZAPATA PHOTOGRAPHY
You have set the date . You found the perfect venue . You bought a swoon-worthy dress , handsome suit and the flowers are going to be gorgeous . You have poured your time , money and energy into creating the perfect wedding . But what happens after the big day ? Are you ready ? Have you prepared or talked about how you two will handle conflict ? Finances ? Family ? What strengths and vulnerabilities do each of you bring to the marriage ?
Premarital counseling or coaching can be a powerful tool to set up your marriage for success . Your wedding day will come and go , but if done right , your marriage will last a lifetime . Research has proven that premarital counseling is an effective tool to use as you begin your married life . It is a helpful way to improve your communication and conflict management skills while increasing your overall relationship quality and satisfaction . Couples who engage in premarital counseling have a more realistic view of marriage and a deeper level of commitment to each other ( C . Sweatt-Eldredge , 2017 ).
Amy Wallace , local officiant , member of the International Association of Professional Wedding Officiants , ordained minister and doctoral candidate , encourages couples to seek premarital coaching before they get married . She believes coaching is different from therapy or counseling as coaching already sees clients as whole , whereas therapy looks to resolve a past pain . Coaching is about looking forward and is often short term . It empowers clients to solve their own problems , whereas counseling and therapy might take longer , offering guidance and direction . Amy says , “ Weddings can be amazing ! But if you haven ’ t planned for marriage , a wedding is a waste of money .”