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Phillip encourages couples to understand where their future spouse has been . He recommends brides and grooms do an Enneagram personality study to better know themselves and how they can effectively relate to each other . The Enneagram is one of the most powerful and insightful tools for understanding ourselves and others . At its core , the Enneagram helps us to see ourselves at a deeper , more objective level and can be of invaluable assistance on our path to self-knowledge ( The Enneagram Institute , 2021 ).
“ By seeking to understand , rather than seeking to be understood , couples can have a more successful marriage .” Phillip sees coaching through marriage like a ball game . “ You are not going to play as well in your first game as you would play in your tenth game , after you have been coached . Learning how to love someone is a learned response and coaching helps guide us to a life where we can choose to act in loving ways , even when we do not always have loving feelings .”
In addition to doing an Enneagram study , Phillip often recommends a bride and groom do a book study together to deepen their understanding of each other . For more in depth counseling , Phillip recommends finding a licensed therapist who is specifically trained to help couples .
So take the advice of trusted professionals , set your marriage up for success . Whether you seek premarital coaching , do a personality study , read through a book together or speak with a licensed therapist , investing in your marriage is important . Be willing to be vulnerable . Be open to working on your relationship . Discover new things about your future spouse . Let go of harmful behaviors . But most of all , love is a choice , so choose love .
Xxoxo
counsoling services amy s . wallace , officiant love light ceremonies & Coaching
book reccomendations phillip wright , officiant
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Drs . Les and Leslie Parrott