M L
SPEEDO MICK HOPES NEW BBC DOCUMENTARY WILL HELP OTHERS BE HONEST ABOUT ADDICTION
Speedo Mick says he hopes a new BBC documentary about his own addictions and struggles with mental health will help others have the courage to open up about theirs .
We Are England programme makers interviewed Mick before he set off on his marathon 2,500-mile Giving Back trek in May last year , making donations from his previous fundraising to small charities and community groups up and down the country .
In the one-off documentary , called Walking for Change , he discusses how his life hit rock bottom through drink and drug abuse and how he ’ s now been clean and sober for 20 years .
A camera crew also joined Mick on the five-month walk as he kept going through all weathers in his Everton trunks to reach the finishing post at Liverpool ’ s waterfront in December , collecting more than £ 200,000 for his Speedo Mick Foundation .
He wants to show how things have changed for him in the hope of inspiring other people who might be going through similar problems .
“ I know from my own experience that when you see people who are in recovery or suffering from mental health get honest , it can give you the green light to get honest about your own doubts and fears . That ’ s the reason I try to be as open as I possibly can when I talk about me messing up , so other people know it ’ s OK to be able to talk about stuff because we ’ re all human , we ’ ve all got flaws and we all make mistakes .”
Mick says since he started doing his fundraising and sharing his story , he ’ s had thousands of messages from people who can relate to what he went through .
“ Sometimes , when I talk to people and to family about how it used to be they ’ ll say , ‘ oh that was years ago , you ’ re not like that now ’, but to me it doesn ’ t matter . I can never ever forget where I went , what I became and what my life ended up like . My whole story is a disaster and also a story of hope and getting a new lease of life . It could be 50 years ago , I ’ ll always remember the pain and the suffering I went through every single day and how I never thought I was going to get out of that . That ’ s what gives me the lust for life now , the fact that I ’ m out and I use the word out because it felt like I was in a cage .
“ I remember how insane it was , I couldn ’ t make the right decision to save my own life , I really couldn ’ t . Every decision I made just seemed to take me lower and lower . I ’ d lost my self-respect and my dignity , I wasn ’ t looking after myself – I had raggedy clothes , I was emaciated , and basically looking like death warmed up . I couldn ’ t just get dressed , iron my clothes and pretend , it was really visible . Every time I walked down the street I felt like there was a light shining on me and there was a lot of shame attached to that . I didn ’ t know how to fix myself and the longer it went on the more I thought I wasn ’ t going to get out , even though I really wanted to and I did keep on trying .”
Mick hopes the documentary will give people an understanding of why he does what he does now , telling his backstory alongside the one around his fundraising efforts .
“ They came out and interviewed me before I set off and then they joined me quite a few times and did some more interviews when I was walking . I haven ’ t seen the finished version myself yet , but I think it will show the two completely different sides to my life , almost like two completely different people . When I was wrapped up in addiction and mental health problems all I was doing was taking . Now having the foundation and trying to help others , I ’ m giving back , not just taking .”
He admits that he ’ s still nervous about people ’ s reactions when they find out about his past .
“ It really is important for people to see the other side of me , so I ’ m not just this character who ’ s there in his knickers , dancing with people and joking around .
“ But every time I speak about the past it makes me feel very vulnerable . The last thing that ’ s lost to addiction is the stigma , it ’ s the same with mental health , so I ’ ve still got a bit of that mindset . I do worry that people will see me on TV and think , he ’ s not the nice funny person we thought he was , of course I do .
“ So I am very nervous , putting myself out there , but I ’ m also really really grateful to be in the position I ’ m in to be able to live my life and to help people .” merseylife . com 19