Regardless of the outcome , reflect and draw lessons from the conflict and resolution process . Ask yourself how you contributed to the conflict , and how you will resolve it better in future . Focus on healing and repairing the relationship for the long term . If you have lost the relationship , accept that you tried your best and the other party has decided to move on - without you .
LEADING YOU
Navigating Conflict
By Caroline Nyamwaya Mwazi
Disagreements happen from time to time . Even the best personal , social and professional relationships go through rough patches sometimes . Disagreements are normal , and if they are not dealt with , they escalate into conflict , which is a serious , typically protracted , disagreement or argument . Since conflict is inevitable , it is vital to understand it and learn to navigate it effectively .
Conflict is caused by differences in opinions , values , perspectives and personalities . It also arises from misunderstanding , lack of trust , and poor communication , with those involved feeling disrespected and disregarded . Stress , real or perceived injustice and unfairness also contribute to conflict as a result of frustration , which shows up as aggression , including shouting , hitting things , or assaulting someone , or in passive aggression such as sarcasm , mean jokes , ignoring and backbiting .
Conflict results in broken relationships , limited productivity and poor mental health from stress , guilt , emotional pain , and excessive rumination , which could lead to depression and suicide . Violence as a result of conflict could lead to disciplinary action , loss of employment and even prosecution and imprisonment .
Some people avoid conflict , knowing how intense and emotionally taxing it can get , but rather than doing so it is better to accept that conflict is part of life and learn healthy , mature ways of handling it . Here are tips to help you do just that .
Acknowledge
Honesty is the best policy . Some people refuse to acknowledge that there is conflict , thinking it will go away if they ignore and deny it . Honestly facing the situation and acknowledging the conflict , rather than denying it , will position you to deal with it instead of letting it fester indefinitely and getting worse .
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Regardless of the outcome , reflect and draw lessons from the conflict and resolution process . Ask yourself how you contributed to the conflict , and how you will resolve it better in future . Focus on healing and repairing the relationship for the long term . If you have lost the relationship , accept that you tried your best and the other party has decided to move on - without you .
Desire to Resolve
It may be difficult to have genuine desire to resolve conflict if you are nursing anger and hurt feelings . Granted , you can ’ t deny your feelings , but moving past them to starting the process of resolving the conflict will help you process them . When ready to move to resolution , approach the other party and set a time for discussion . Conflict resolution is simpler and faster where the other party also has a genuine desire to sort things out .
Many conflicts drag on longer than they should because of hidden agendas and games that parties play . It is impossible to resolve conflict with a negative , toxic party . Mutuality , where both parties are invested and committed to resolution , and reciprocity , give and take , are essential for successful conflict resolution . With toxic relationships , where things are false and off-balance , chances of real resolution are limited , as your desire for an amicable , mutually satisfactory settlement may not be reciprocated .
Set the Tone
Choose a quiet , private place where you will be able to discuss freely without distractions , and arrive in time , which conveys respect for the other party . Agree ground rules for the discussions including maintaining respect , no interruptions , violence or abusive language .
Truth and Fairness
Stick to the facts and focus on your point of view of the issue , using ‘ I ’ statements , without personally attacking the other party . Also avoid exaggeration and magnifying the
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