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Dead Butts and Other Controversies by MARY BARRY , MD
OPINION
Recently I read in the New York Times about Dead Butts . Jen Murphy , the author , was not referring to tobacco ; rather , to the distressing problem termed “ gluteal amnesia .”
I had been blissfully unaware that this specifically was a global threat . Ms . Murphy noted , “ Gluteal amnesia happens when the muscles in your rear become so weak from inactivity they seem to forget how to function – meaning they fail or become slow to activate . This is different than a leg or an arm ‘ falling asleep ’ because of a compressed nerve ; you won ’ t feel pins and needles . Some people may feel a dull ache while sitting , but most people don ’ t feel any pain until they go for a jog or a hike .”
I do recall , sadly , my very first job as a nurse ’ s aide , at a nursing home the summer after my freshman year in nursing at Spalding College . I used to walk there for a 3-11 shift , about a mile and a half from home . Daddy would leave the family car there for me in the evening , and then take the bus or walk home himself . I had a hot , scratchy polyester uniform and had to wear hose and nurses ’ shoes , and I prayed for a cooling rain the whole way . The thin , spindly-legged old folks I had to lift up and help to the chair or bath had flat , weak glutes , stringy hamstrings and very little balance . They would never again head for a jog or a hike . Quite often , I had to remind them just what urinating was and why it was vital – at that moment – that they attempt it .
After a while , if they were weak but not real demented , I would start walking them around and getting them to stand up and sit down several times in a row . I was the only aide , and the RN was usually either giving meds or talking on the phone – I had free rein . I called this stand up / sit down game “ Cheeky Butts ” and they got extra Oreos if they did it right ( l brought Oreos every shift as bribes ; when you are one of many siblings , you learn the mystical power of bribes ). If they had a roommate who was also not demented , I had them compete with each other . This generally caused giggling .
Whereas at Grady on the OBS ( observation ) ward , where one recovered from delirium tremens , the usual response to “ Tell me where you are ” was “ My grandma ’ s porch ,” their usual response was often , “ Honey I cain ’ t tell you that .” But often , they could tell me about their growing up and their hard labor and their churches and their checkered pasts .
I used to ask them about dancing – they could jitterbug and they knew square dancing , and every now and then , they would tell me about their ballet lessons . We did not , however , attempt dancing , as fractured hips were a horror to be shunned .
So far as gluteal amnesia , Dr . Jane Konidis , MD , PT , of the Mayo Clinic was quoted in the New York Times article . “ The name sounds silly , but the side effects are serious . The gluteus maximus is one of the strongest muscles in the body and biggest shock absorbers . If it ’ s not working properly , it can cause a domino chain of issues , from hamstring tears to sciatica to shin splints and arthritis in the knees .”
“ Sluggish glutes ” particularly bothers runners and golfers , and per Dr . Konidis , was why Tiger Woods had to cancel some tournaments . Your glutes are three muscles that stabilize the hip and rotate the thigh . Dr . Konidis noted , “ Together , the glutes act as a base to the spine , keeping your pelvis and core stable . If they were really dead , we would not be able to stand .”
But when you sit , muscles on the front of the hip and thigh allow your glutes to rest . Per Chris Kolba , PT , “ When you take a step forward , the glutes should activate first . Repeated eight-hour desk days can cause a delay in the neurons that signal them to
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