IT TAKES TWO
Marriage and Medicine : Patience and Teamwork
by ANNA ABRAHAM HAYDEN , MD photo credit : Jeff Ivory Photography
Patrick and I met in 1993 at the University of Louisville School of Medicine as classmates . We were acquaintances during the first two years of medical school , but by our third year we had become friends . Our first clinical rotation during the third year was pediatrics , and we were assigned to the same team . We were both excited and nervous at the prospect of finally donning the short white coat and taking care of patients . During those intense pressure-filled years , our friendship became our release where we could just be ourselves . I was ( and still am ) drawn to Patrick ’ s calm nature , his sense of humor and his perennial optimism . Our friendship grew easily , and we found ourselves talking to each other every day , processing details such as “ guess who I ran into today ” and other minutiae that I mentally categorized as the day wore on in order to relay to Patrick later . During our time outside of the hospital , we often walked at the Crescent Hill Reservoir or studied at Day ’ s Coffee on Bardstown Road . I sensed that we saw the world in similar ways , and he quickly became an unwavering source of support . We had a long-distance relationship during our residencies , and we married in June 2000 , at the beginning of my final year of residency in dermatology and just before Patrick began his nephrology fellowship . I began working in Cleveland in 2001 , while Patrick finished his fellowship there ; we returned to Louisville in 2003 . We are blessed with two daughters , Natalie ( 17 ) and Lila ( 15 ).
Being a two-physician family is certainly not without its challenges . As medicine has changed over the past 20 years , the logistical demands of caring for our patients have increased exponentially . These demands impact the amount of time that we spend together as a family . As a nephrologist , Patrick ’ s typical day lasts into the night . The amount of time needed to complete the week ’ s work caring for patients often extends into the weekends . It is extremely rare for our family of four to eat dinner together . I can understand how resentment might grow against a spouse who might not grasp “ what takes so long ” to complete clinic notes or hospital rounds . Patience and empathy for each other have been vital to our married life . For example , I do not expect Patrick to interrupt his work
( continued on page 10 ) February 2023 9