IT TAKES TWO
( continued from page 7 ) on a white horse in the traditional wedding baraat procession .
Following residency , we stayed on to work for a year at Barnes Jewish Hospital as hospitalists . At our interview , we said that we wanted to work nights , all the same shifts , and only work for nine months out of the year . Surprisingly – they said yes . During this year we were able to backpack for two months in southeast Asia and for a month in South America , a rare hiatus from the rigid path of medical training . It also gave us time to interview for our second couples Match – this time into oncology and cardiology .
We both matched into fellowships at Vanderbilt . On the first day of fellowship , Laila found out that she was pregnant . Four weeks after giving birth , she was back at work in her fellowship clinic . Our second child was born one month before the end of fellowship . The lack of adequate parental support policies for those in medicine made these some of the most difficult times of our training .
With two young children and the desire to be close to family , we moved to Louisville , Arpit ’ s hometown and both took positions at Norton Healthcare . Having a dual physician family is very busy , and our family and nanny are indispensable . They say it takes a village to raise a child , but with a two-physician family , it seems like we need an entire city . We feel incredibly lucky to have both of our families nearby .
Being married to a physician has its perks . We have a curbside consult on speed dial . We also have some shared patients who report back to Laila when they have seen “ Mr . Dr . Agrawal ” and hilariously tell her that she “ married up .” Most importantly , having a partner in medicine provides a lot of emotional support coping with the difficult aspects of medicine . We understand what the other is going through , because we are experiencing it too . The frustrations , worries , sadness , as well as the unique things that bring joy in medicine – we get it all .
Having a medical family at times can get a bit … awkward . Some of our standard dinnertime conversations are not acceptable to those outside of the medical profession – apparently talking about bodily fluids isn ’ t normal – and our kids have absorbed this medical talk . Our kids were pretending to be “ on call ” at age two and know more appropriate anatomic terms than most adults .
It ’ s not all fun and games through , as there is no “ flexible ” partner . There are a lot of things we are just not able to do . We can ’ t be at all the school events or be home with our kids every weekend . Perhaps this makes us cherish the time we are able to be together even more .
The COVID-19 pandemic added additional challenges for a dual physician family . If the kids were sick or on quarantine , we couldn ’ t risk exposing them to our parents . We would alternate who would stay home with the kids while doing telehealth visits or reading echos from home .
While our careers are in medicine , our devotion is to each other and our families . Spending quality time together is so important . Our children will spend the night with their grandparents almost every week , which allows us to spend time together going out for dinner or watching Schitt ’ s Creek on the couch with take-out . We try to take a trip together without kids once a year . Some of our favorite trips have been to Napa and to the Azores . We also love to travel with our kids , whether it is visiting family , exploring national parks or discovering new countries .
While the journey through medical training is long and arduous , having each other through the process made that bumpy road just a little smoother . The support of having someone to ask medical questions you don ’ t want to ask anyone else , a shoulder to cry on when you have a tough day and a partner to understand all the beauty and darkness of medicine with you , is invaluable .
Laila Agrawal , MD is a medical oncologist / hematologist specializing in breast cancer and has a sexual health clinic at Norton Cancer Institute . Arpit Agrawal , MD is a cardiologist at Norton Heart and Vascular Institute .
8 LOUISVILLE MEDICINE