Louisiana Rubber Down Magazine November Vol. 12 | Page 18

Continued from
page 17
Helga’s Diary on a Cruise Ship
DEAR DIARY - DAY 1
All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting.
Our local Red Hat chapter - The Late Bloomers decided on this
“all-girls” trip. It will be my first one, - and I can’t wait!
DEAR DIARY - DAY 2
Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the
Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 3
At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the
deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt
honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and
attentive.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 4
Won $800.00 in the ship’s casino. Captain asked me to have
dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal
complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the
night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my
husband.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 5
Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at
piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought
me several large drinks.Really is quite charming. Again asked
me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told
me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the
ship... I was shocked.
DEAR DIARY - DAY 6
Today I saved 2600 lives.
Twice.
Bumper-Stickers Seen On Military Bases.
“Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, WAR
has Never Solved Anything.”
“ U.S. Marines - Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club.”
“ U.S. Air Force - Travel Agents To Allah”
“Stop Global Whining”
“When In Doubt, Empty The Magazine”
“Naval Corollary: Dead Men Don’t Testify.”
“The Marine Corps - When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight”
“Death Smiles At Everyone - Marines Smile Back”
“Marine Sniper - You can run, but you’ll just die tired!”
“What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? A Little Recoil”
“Marines - Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For
their Country Since 1775”
“Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It”
“Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon”
“It’s God’s Job to Forgive Bin Laden - It’s Our Job To Arrange The
Meeting”
“Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Vulgar
Brawl”
“One Shot, Twelve Kills - U.S. Naval Gun Fire Support”
“My Kid Fought In Iraq So Your Kid Can Party In College”
“Machine Gunners - Accuracy By Volume”
“A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy - Blessed Be The Peacemakers”
“If You Can Read This, Thank A Teacher.. If You Can Read It In English, Thank A Veteran”
“Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But the U.S. ARMED FORCES don’t have that
problem-”Ronald Reagan

RUBBER DOWN MAGAZINE

NOVEMBER 2013

PAGE 18

Chere’s II
NOT JUST ANY GENTLEMAN’S CLUB

HOME OF THE HONEST SHOT
9699 Hwy 182 E
Amelia
Monday - Friday 11am till 2 am
Tuesday Steak Night
Thursday Boiled Crawfish

985-631-1000
Y o u

m i g h t

be

B I K E R if...

a

1. YOUR BEST FRIENDS ARE NAMED AFTER
ANIMALS.
2. YOUR BEST SHOES HAVE STEEL TOES.
3. YOU HAVE MOTORCYCLE PARTS IN YOUR
DISHWASHER.
4. YOUR IDEA OF JEWELRY IS CHAINS AND
BARBED WIRE.
5. YOU CAN TELL WHAT KIND OF BUGS THE ARE BY
THE TASTE.
6. YOU’RE ONLY SUNBURNED ON THE BACK OF
YOUR HANDS AND NECK.
7. YOU KNOW WHERE STURGIS IS.
Department of Public safety Motorcycle Operators
Training Courses held at various locations statewide.
Basic course unless otherwise noted.
FMI Larry Ourso 225-925-6113 Ext 224
Call Larry for the class schedule in your area for application. For courses go to

http://www.lsp.org/