Louisiana Rubber Down Magazine November Vol. 12 | Page 17

Please, take care of yourself this Holiday Season. A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the
Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related. This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, milk, water, and shit like that. Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many
accidents. This message is sent by someone who cares about your well being.

Square Testicles
This is a joke that is supposed to bring you luck.
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning
with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and
insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she
had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an
employee took the elderly woman to the president’s office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit.
She placed her purse on his desk and replied, ‘$165,000’. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much
money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, “What kind of bets?”
The elderly woman replied, “Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles
are square.”
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and
said, “Would you like to take my bet?”
“Certainly”, replied the president. “I bet you $25,000 that my testicles
are not square.”
“Done”, the elderly woman answered. “But given the amount of money
involved, if you don’t mind I would like to come back at 10 O’clock

tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.” “No problem”, said
the president of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent
a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them
this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was
positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring
himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 O’clock the elderly woman arrived at
the president’s office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000
bet made the day before that the president’s testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the
day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so
that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the
president if she could touch them. “Of course”, said the president.
“Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.”
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president
noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He
asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, “Oh,
it’s probably because I bet him C?F?B&?V?B?( ?6??6???F?P???&???r?v?V?B&R???F??rF?R&??2?bF?R&W6?FV?B?bF?R&???&??b6?F( ??3??c??3??wwr?6V???V'&?6?G2?6??6V????V'&?6?G4?????6??vR??r6''?6???WFR??R?b??F?&7?6?R?V'&?6?G2??%T$$U"D?t??t???P????dT?$U"#0??tRp??