Looking after someone 2017, Northern Ireland | Page 6

4

Handling difficult conversations

Even a tricky conversation with professionals can be a breeze compared
to having to deal with family and friends. We may have to ask a sibling to
be more supportive, remind a friend that we still exist or talk gently to a
parent who doesn’t accept that they can’t live independently any longer.
This takes courage, bags of patience and tact. Talking it through with
people outside the situation can make a world of difference.
“We put off talking
about mental capacity
with my grandmother.
Having these difficult
conversations early is far
preferable to leaving it
too late and having other
people make decisions
about the future.”

5

Looking after our own health and wellbeing

As carers, we may have immediate needs such as taking breaks, getting
sleep, eating properly or exercising. We may have longer-term needs such
as building fulfilling relationships, pursuing hobbies or developing careers.
Caring always involves an element of putting our own needs aside.
However it’s important that we look after ourselves too, so we can keep
going as carers, and because we are individuals whose needs are just as
valid as those of our loved ones.
“I never took a break – I
look back now and wish I
had been stronger to let
others help care for mum.
After years of hardly any
sleep and no break, I
seem to be constantly
poorly and my immune
system is at a low.”

Looking after someone

carersni.org