Looking after someone 2017, Northern Ireland | 页面 5

2

Coping with feelings of guilt

When we’re looking after someone, it’s important to accept that guilt
is normal and that we only feel it because we care. Being able to talk to
people who understand what we’re going through and how we feel can
help us handle our feelings of guilt better.
“After the diagnosis, I was
consumed with the thought
that I could have done more.
Why didn’t I recognise the
signs? I now accept that
what has happened isn’t
anyone’s fault.
So now I don’t say I feel
guilty, I say I feel sad – an
easier emotion to cope with.”

3

5

Being assertive with professionals

Looking after someone will often involve dealing with several different
professionals. When we feel a professional has not explained things
clearly, does not see the whole picture or perhaps is not doing what they
should do, it can be hard to speak up. However, that is exactly what we
need to do. And this starts with valuing ourselves and our caring role.
“The doctors discussed
his condition with me
and agreed that we
should implement a
care plan to give dad a
dignified and pain-free
death. They asked if I
wanted to talk to dad
about it, and I did.”

Looking after someone

carersni.org