an emotional attachment . The biochemical love potion is also released when a person uses porn . When someone watches porn , they are “ bonding with it ,” Kuszewski says . She goes on to explain that “ those chemicals make you want to keep coming back to have that feeling .” This is why people develop a neurological attachment to porn . Some people refer to this as “ dating porn .”
A man in recovery anonymously posted his story of how he bonded with porn . He wrote , “ When I started seriously considering a life without porn , something in me literally panicked . The thoughts that ran through my mind were : Wait . No more porn ? I don ’ t really feel like I ’ m ready for this .” Once he started his recovery , this bond was still there . He continued : I heard this quote recently . “ Letting go of porn is like letting go of an old friend .” It struck me as really true . This has been the biggest hard- ship in my journey . It ’ s difficult to admit that some part of me really does miss using porn sometimes . This realization was puzzling for him . He shared , “ I realized that I actually started missing porn . This disturbed me . How could I miss something that has worked to ruin my life ? But the feelings were there — they were real .“ The draw to porn can seem mysterious .
The bond with porn is both chemical and emotional . Though addicts often genuinely want porn out of their lives , they still find themselves seeking out reasons to continue using it . Why ? Because porn has been there for them . Porn has comforted them . Porn has exhilarated them when they ’ ve been down . Porn has been their friend , their lover , and even their god . Addicts don ’ t realize how much they have bonded to porn until they try to give it up .
Melodie ’ s bond to porn made it difficult for her to quit . Her dad left her family when she was young . She felt rejected and longed for attention from a man . Porn was a fantasy world she could enter to feel loved and desired . Her draw to porn was not just about physical pleasure . She loved porn because of the comfort and connection she experienced by imagining being the woman in porn whom she saw being desired by men . Melodie said , “ Porn quenched my thirst for intimacy , but only temporarily . I developed an attachment to the videos and the actors in the videos , though I didn ’ t know it at the time .” Subconsciously , Melody was being drawn to the fake intimacy pornography provided .
15