been done. We blame others even when it’ s something small. Blame may sound like,“ That person made me late because they took too long to get ready,” or“ She made me feel guilty when she said...,” or“ They pressured me to decide. I had no choice in the matter,” or“ I’ m depressed because of the way I was raised,” or“ He made me explode with rage when he triggered me by doing that thing he knows I hate.”
Blaming others may be the most natural reaction in the moment, but it ultimately leads to destructive emotions such as resentment, anger, and hatred. We often blame others for our negative behavior instead of taking responsibility for our response when unfair things happen to us. The reason we do this is because blame takes us off the hook of feeling guilty and makes us feel better temporarily. It is also a defense mechanism. When we feel attacked, we get defensive.
" If we want to live the life of freedom that Christ died to give us, we can’ t stay in a perpetual cycle of blame."
Failing to hold ourselves accountable for the consequences of our own behaviors, thoughts, feelings, and actions keeps us stuck in the trap of thinking we have minimal flaws or areas that need growth. Shifting blame onto others is simply a refusal to take ownership in how we contributed to our problems. It’ s the easy way out. When we feel triggered by something, who do we blame? The other person! But your triggers are not someone else’ s responsibility. Only you can deal with and face the root issues in your own life. This refusal to accept responsibility denies us control of a given situation. It leaves us powerless and ultimately stunts our personal and spiritual growth. In fact, when we choose to ignore any sign, big or small, regarding the displacement of blame, we can even find ourselves pushing away those who are coming from a place of support.
If we want to live the life of freedom that Christ died to give us, we can’ t stay in a perpetual cycle of blame. When we address the situation with the attention it deserves, it’ s much easier to read our own emotions and see the reason behind the underlying issue. Responsibility is required, not optional. What is your response when something terrible happens? Is it blame or do you see it as an opportunity to allow God to come in and heal the broken places of your heart? I once heard a therapist say that not every struggle in life is trauma and not every workplace is toxic.
I would add, the Enemy is not always attacking you. Life is hard at times, and we need to learn how to do hard things. We are stronger than we realize because of God’ s power that is at work within us. If we allow God to teach us how to overcome, He will. The question is: Will you let Him?
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