than the transgression done to us. We need to be vulnerable and transparent when looking inward and allow the Holy Spirit to help reveal what we sometimes find hard to articulate. Until we bring everything that is hidden into the light, we forfeit the process that is necessary for our full healing. We can choose to resist the Holy Spirit when He prompts us to change, or we can yield to His still, small voice; surrender to His will instead of our own; and allow Him to make us well.
I once heard a story from a doctor of psychology who shared about his wife who went to a seminar while she was battling cancer. The seminar featured discussions across various aspects of psychology, trauma, mental health, and emotional health. Since she had suffered from a great deal of trauma as a child, she decided to attend. After the seminar ended, she struck up a conversation with the seminar leader. The man asked her an interesting question after she shared about her struggle with cancer. He asked,“ How much responsibility do you want for this?” At first, she was offended and responded,“ I didn’ t do this to myself. It’ s not my fault. I have cancer.” He looked at her and said,“ I didn’ t ask you about blame. I will ask the question again. How much responsibility do you want for this situation in your life?” She answered,“ I want 100 percent responsibility.” He went on to explain that when you blame others for your problems, you become the victim, and you can’ t change. The hallmark of self-defeating behavior is blaming others for the problems in your life. He said responsibility is your ability to respond to any given situation in your life. The only way to overcome it is to stop playing the blame game and ask yourself: What is my responsibility in this?
Please listen to me, friend. The issue you are facing may not be your fault. It may be something someone did to you, and I am not diminishing that pain. I know it’ s real. But even though it may not be your fault, it has become your problem. And with the help of the Holy Spirit, it’ s your responsibility to take ownership so you can overcome. Blaming someone else will only keep you in bondage and prohibit you from moving into freedom.
" I had to face the reality that the only way forward was changing how I responded."
For years I blamed everyone else for my issues. While what I went through was not fair or okay, I couldn’ t change what had happened. I had to face the reality that the only way forward was changing how I responded. I could either keep holding unforgiveness and become sicker, or I could choose to forgive and receive healing. We all have a choice to either react or respond when things happen to us. For many years I chose to react because it fed my flesh and made me feel better, but in reality I was not getting any healthier. I was getting worse because I lived in a constant state of blame and refused to take responsibility for myself. Blame is defined as shifting responsibility to someone else for a fault or wrong that has
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