LEAD June 2023 | Page 46

The Many Faces of Anger Edward T . Welch

A middle-aged veteran was hurt , reeling from war memories , and always teetering on poverty . These were very important matters .
He was also angry . Every five minutes or so he would mention how he wanted to rip someone ’ s head off , and he looked like he might do it .
“ You seem really angry ,” I suggested , stating the obvious .
“ Whaddya mean ?! Don ’ t be so STUPID !”
He did not say anything about ripping my head off . Yet .
He counted himself among the nonmurderers . Since he only wanted to murder and did not , he wasn ’ t angry . Given this tendency to minimize our murderous anger , wisdom suggests that we should search for it . Here are some words that can bring it out into the open .
• Covert anger : Sarcasm , “ just kidding ,” grumbling , complaining , gossip , defending , annoyed , frustrated , smoldering , vengeful , irritable , entitled , eye-rolling , superior .
• Cold anger : Silent treatment , withdrawal , indifference , cold shoulder , controlling , “ stupid ,” detached , keeping score , criticizing .
• Hot anger : Jealousy , wrath , war , murder , quarrels , explosions , rage , envy , hate ,
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