“ When your feelings seem bigger than the container you have to carry them in, he is standing by with a storage tank that never reaches capacity.”
Blocking feelings makes it difficult to connect with others. Sooner or later, suppressed feelings will take a toll on a relationship. For example, if I feel disappointed because my husband didn’ t pick up an item from the grocery store on his way home from work, I may choose to squash that disappointment because I don’ t want to create an argument. But by stuffing the disappointment, I increase the likelihood that the next time I’ m disappointed, I’ ll remember this grocery store disappointment and add a dose of resentment on top. Over time, accumulated disappointment and resentment can turn into bitterness. Then it’ s only a matter of time until a more explosive argument will occur. Simply sharing my disappointment as it arises prevents an escalation of other feelings and a bigger argument. And sharing my feelings, even when they’ re difficult, contributes to the health of our relationship by increasing vulnerability and intimacy.
“ When your feelings seem bigger than the container you have to carry them in, he is standing by with a storage tank that never reaches capacity.”
Blocking feelings makes it difficult to connect with ourselves. When we block our feelings, we miss the signals our body is sending to ask for support. So many feelings start off as felt sensations of the body. The gut sends more signals to the brain than the brain does to the gut. Getting butterflies in your stomach before a social event is your body’ s way of letting you know you’ re anxious or excited. Perhaps you’ re in a hurry as you get ready for an event and so you’ re ignoring any feelings of anxiety— but your body alerts you through those belly flutters. If you ignore the sensations, they get stronger. For example, I feel buzzy and shaky before I speak at an event. If I don’ t pause and acknowledge my anxiety, that buzzy, shaky feeling will lead me to talk too fast and skip over important pieces of information at the beginning of my presentation— which happened recently when I forgot to introduce myself or say anything about who I am or what I do until about halfway through a presentation.
Blocking feelings makes it difficult to connect with our heavenly Father. When you are trying to connect with God through reading your Bible or prayer, blocking feelings is the equivalent of saying,“ I’ m fine.” Just as that answer has become meaningless in day-to-day interactions and prevents deeper connections with others, it also prevents depth in your spiritual life and connection with God. Without access to your feelings, prayer and Bible reading will soon feel like you’ re just going through the motions, checking a box on your to-do list. Having access to your feelings is essential for growing in an intimate relationship with the one who created you and longs to have a real relationship with you.
God can handle your big feelings. He can handle your scattered brain. When your
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