a label, regardless of what kind of label it is. The label creates a narrative( or confirms a faulty core belief) that our feelings are somehow dangerous, so we don’ t allow ourselves to process them. For those of us with labels, feelings are often not to be trusted. However, when we spend years in fear of our feelings and choose to block them, it creates problems that complicate our ability to heal.
Blocking feelings is a problem because it shuts out valuable information about our safety in the world, negatively impacts our physical health, and prevents us from having healthy relationships— with others, ourselves, and God.
Blocking feelings shuts down protective alerts. I recently asked my middle child, who is still in elementary school, why he thinks it’ s good to notice feelings.“ Our feelings are there to protect us,” he said. He’ s right! Ever had a“ gut feeling” about something that turned out to be spot on? I know I have. Whether it’ s a subtle prickling on the back of my neck or an obvious sense of nervousness, this feeling has gotten me out of dangerous situations. On one occasion, I asked a store security guard to walk me to my car when I noticed a man was following me. It worked. As soon as the stranger saw me with the guard outside the store, he darted off.
Blocking feelings negatively impacts physical health. If we block feelings long enough, it creates stress. And because of our strong mind-body connection, that stress impacts our bodies. Prolonged stress can lead to increased production of stress hormones such as cortisol, which is needed to meet the demands of short-term stress but creates inflammation over the long-term. A popular saying in massage therapy is,“ The issues are in the tissues,” which means that everything your brain refuses to process, your body chooses to store.
21