Arguing through fake, plastered smiles in the
back seat while Steve sat tight lipped, white
knuckling the wheel up front.
And it’s all on video! Sure, I was a little
disappointed we didn’t parade around the
streets, and I wished Matt would’ve danced
more at the reception, but he went to a Christian
school where dancing wasn’t allowed, and I
went to a public school where we never held
back. I get it now. —Sarah
We were exhausted by the time we reached our
hotel, but can you guess the first thing we did?
Open cards and count the money! We had both
saved sex for our wedding night, so what was
a few more minutes of virginity in the grand
scheme of things? And come on, we were two
broke kids who needed to make sure we had
enough gas money to make it to Michigan the
next morning. After all the cards were opened,
we realized that we had enough cash to make
it there and back and even enjoy a couple of
steak dinners along the way.
We honeymooned near the Sleeping Bear
Dunes of Lake Michigan. Miles of beach and
towering bluffs. Lush forests. Sarah and I
thought it seemed like a good place for a
romantic getaway. Some friends of ours owned
a cabin up there, and they were gracious
enough to offer it for the week.
Being alone in the woods was pretty romantic
at first, but it can be hard for city kids to brave
the silence. I may have pulled the old shotgun
down a time or two after hearing a suspicious
noise outside. “Who’s there?” I would yell
loudly, awkwardly cocking an unloaded
shotgun that I had no clue how to use. I had to
prove to my new bride that I could protect her
in a dangerous situation, right?
On our second day in the woods, we were
already itching for adventure, so Sarah and I
drove into Traverse City. We were riding down
East Front Street, the main strip, bumper-tobumper
traffic, when a surge of anxiety shot
through me and tied my stomach in knots. My
IBS had been quiet for years but decided to
make a comeback at the worst possible time.
“Pick me up at this same spot,” I said, throwing
the car door open. “I gotta find a bathroom.
Like now.”
For a moment Sarah sat clueless, the faint
outline of J ST MA R ED still visible on the back
window of our Volvo. A little confused, she ran
around to the driver side and slid behind the
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