Ninety pounds with a handful of sweaters to her name when she died. But Grammy? She was the richest, whole-est person I have ever met. She built a legacy. rich life.
I want this kind of legacy. Her life was not wasted. legacy: the long-term impact of the events or actions in a person’ s life. 2
To use the word legacy feels so cliché, imperfect. How can I explain what she left? What she did? Seven children, twenty-one grandchildren, thirty-six great-grandchildren. Every single one of them knew they were loved by Grammy.
One time Grammy was going to the store.“ Do you need anything?” she asked me with her beautiful smile.“ Oh, yes, some potato chips, some pretzels, some ice cream, some candy...” It was a lame attempt at a joke from a nineyear-old.
She came back an hour later, saying,“ I think I got it all!” I felt terrible, and terribly loved. She lived meagerly, spent all she had on us. Always on us. Her double-wide was the house of canned peaches and Schwan’ s pizzas and perfectly layered macaroni and cheese and Push Pops and Country magazine and the old awful couches where we made so many memories.
Grammy made home. She defined it. Her life was spent at the kitchen sink and the stove. She poured hours into loving people with sausage, eggs, and Folgers coffee. She gave us a rich,
One time my husband told my mom,“ Thank you for loving Jessica so well. You loved her well, and now she can love well.” My mom was loved, and she loved, and I can love. It has been legacies of love.
" The really wonderful news is this: a strong family is not about perfection but grace."
Of all my privileges, the most profound is the gift of family to propel me into life. I’ m closer to my aunts than some are to their mothers. I’ m closer with my cousins than many are with their siblings. We gather still, hordes of us, in a big living room, bringing our pasta salad and baked beans and babies in car seats and teenagers in hoodies, drinking tea and playing music late into the night. Cousins, grandparents, uncles, aunts, sisters, in-laws and“ out-laws”( as my dad jokingly calls his sons-in-law)— and there are always one or two extras who didn’ t have anywhere to go, anything to do. This kind of family is magnetic, compelling, loud, and messy in the very best way.
What Is a Strong Family? I imagine you reading this now. Are you crying with me? Grammy is an inspiration to those
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