This is a huge step for me. Originally stopped seeking help because I was punished for doing so. Then stopped because I felt I was alone. I see differently than before.
Out of all the living beings that exist, aside from myself and The Most High, my parents should've been the two people who loved me the most. That continued until I was an adult. It took a failed marriage that began when I was sixteen for them to finally split up. They continued to treat me, and each other, the same until I was able to leave the city and lose contact with them.
Also as a child during school, I would be molested by another child in the same grade I was. I knew what sex was, it was just the furthest thing from my mind. I was just a kid. I didn't care about that. That all began to change when the girl began to forcibly touch me when no one was looking. Even following me into bathrooms when I went alone.
Aside from my fiance and best friends, no one outside of those involved know even half of the things I encountered. I know there's some things I probably shouldn;t have done, but it still isn't right. I'm still hurting and healing is long overdue.
Since I've been brave enough to take that step, I'm more open and honest with my fiance. I no longer feel afraid to talk about more of my past. Being able to express myself more often. I was so afraid and nervous, but I'm glad I didn't allow that to stop me.