P&C july 2020
SEEKING
HELP FOR MYSELF
Last month was when I finally began taking this seriously. Finally becoming brave enough to seek the help I've wished for in the past. I began reaching out to a therapist. So far it's the scariest thing I've done in in this life.
The earliest memories of my trauma begin when I'm about three years of age. There were many quarrels, both verbally and violently, between my parents. That caused a lot of other problems in the
family as well. Even going as far as trying to convince me to call the police when I was that young. As I had gotten older and attempted to tell my first grade teacher, I was yelled at by my parents for it. They even visited my teacher after school one day to lie and say there's nothing going on I was forced to play along with it. I wanted to cry.
It's as though my parents knew I could've been taken away from them if word got out about the condition
I was in during my childhood and adolescence. So, instead of wishing for me to be placed in a better environment, or creating that themselves, the fights and the arguments and the abuse continued. Not only were they hurting each other. I was hurting, too. Just not physically.
My parents attempted to dump me onto one of my aunts, but only let me stay for a few days . Eventually, I would be taken back home. I know now it wasn't my fault, but I felt like it was during that time period.
I have the tools I need to obtain what I wish for. I just have to use them to fill the box.