JOY FEELINGS MAGAZINE October 2016 | Page 19

masturbate if that’s okay.” What, you ask? This doesn’t sound romantic? Don’t dismiss deliberate conversations about sex because they prevent a lot of negative feelings in the long run. When you first learn to start discussing sexual plans with your partner, it can feel awkward and uncomfortable; once you get used to talking about sexual acts, the conversations will become automatic to the point that you don’t think twice about it. Rethink Monogamy The vast majority of romantic couples in American society report that they're monogamous, despite the fact that a high percentage of individuals within those couples secretly seek out sexual adventures with others. Secrets, of course, are bad news for the obvious way that they can destroy JOY FEELINGS MAG! intimacy. If you and your partner have vastly different sex numbers and the less sexual one isn’t interested in compromising to have more sexual activity, you both should consider creative ways that the more sexual partner can get those needs met. If you’re a couple who would consider letting each other have the occasional sexual dalliance outside the relationship, make sure to keep the lines of communication open to avoid growing apart. Perhaps you’re a couple that must set specific rules: never engage in sexual activity with the same person more than once, only seek out adventures on vacation or far away from home, and so forth. Sublimate Your Sexual Energy The first time I ever considered the various ways an individual could sublimate