With Jim Loehr
15
Character-Driven Achievement
one’s life which comes from exploring questions like – ‘What does life mean to you? What are the values that you hold? What do you care most deeply about? What legacy do you want to leave behind?’ Such questions should begin to be explored and reflected upon from the earliest age so the person is prepared to handle the powerful onslaught and indoctrination society will deliver to chase the myriad of false purposes. I see this all the time in professional athletes who are suddenly thrown into wealth, glamour, and fame. The opportunity and temptations are everywhere. They have little chance of holding the line when confronted with ethical or moral dilemmas because the foundation for a strong character has never been adequately built.
Tragically, many parents and schools haven’t found a
"Character is not a cloak you can take off and put on at will."
- Jim Loehr
practical way to teach the character strengths that form the essence of a truly successful and fulfilling life. Parents struggle to find ways to plant and nourish the seeds of character. They’re competing with so many powerful distractions such as computer games and social media of all kinds. The temptations everyone is facing are far greater than ever but the opportunities that people have to build moral and ethical strengths are diminishing.
A big part of the problem is what researchers refer to as bracketed morality. We build brackets around an action, and say, ‘it’s okay to do this or that because everyone else is doing it.’ Lance Armstrong felt that since the guy on his right and left were doping, the only real chance he had to win was do the same thing. The normal rules for right and wrong don’t apply to competitive racing because that’s the way the culture works. If Lance doesn’t cheat, he’s got no chance of winning and winning is what life is all about.
In a real sense, we dupe ourselves into believing that holding the moral line in this situation is really not that important. Everyone is doing it so it must be ok. As a consequence, we feel no guilt, no remorse… we feel nothing. And if we don’t get caught, we were just smarter than everyone else. Unfortunately, there is a lot of character bending going on at so many levels. That’s precisely why I wrote the book. Without awareness and constant diligence, we get swept away in the powerful currents of life and awaken to the reality that, to our astonishment, we’ve done something completely contrary to our core values and beliefs.People like Armstrong or Bernie Madoff lost their brand, their integrity, and all too often, they can’t comprehend how it all happened. In
most cases it happens one inch at a time in very small ways. And when reality strikes and they are caught; they are forced to confront their worst nightmare.”
Schweyer: “The recent Nike ad, ‘Winning Takes Care of Everything’ came to mind when I was reading your book. Does this say it all about society and the emphasis on
winning?
Loehr: “The quote ‘Winning Takes Care of Everything’ is a tragic promise. It portends that winning is, in fact, everything and that winning will resolve most of our ills in life. This mentality justifies those who say, ‘So if I cheat and get away with it, treat my peers, colleagues or opponents with gross disrespect, trash talk, or try to injure them, or do something that will deliberately take them out, I will be seen by my teammates and coaches as a success because I have turned the tide and won at all costs.’ In spite of the fact that you had to cross several ethical lines to win, you feel good about yourself because winning was ordained to be the gold standard of real success.
If parents, coaches, and players allow the drumbeat of ‘winning is the only thing that counts’ invade the mindset of competitors, sports will be-