Jewish Life Digital Edition February 2013 | Page 23

people to discover the enormous opportunities that exist for development, love
and life after divorce.”
Lisa is a young woman in the process
of divorce, who has made use of all the
resources at her disposal to help her
move on with her life. She says, “I was in
a state of shock over my husband’s decision to get divorced, and joined Sheila’s
Divorce Support Group. The course was
very helpful and the amazing thing is
that when it was over, the 10 of us decided to continue offering support to
each other on ‘WhatsApp’. We are all so
different – in age, levels of religious
observance, gender (eight women and
two men) – and yet we are able to
support each other on a daily basis and
even meet once a month for coffee. I
cannot tell you how helpful this has been
for me – for all of us!”

opportunities? Here’s what some professionals advise:

From Holocaust to Redemption:
Poland and Israel 2013
Departures in May/October

FIND THE REAL ‘YOU’
Now that you’re starting afresh, try to
discover who you really are. Consider your
family of origin: examine and question the
lessons ingrained in you. Do they reflect
your beliefs or are they just habits? With
added maturity and life experience, delve
deep, perhaps with the help of an objective
counsellor, to identify what values you
hold dear; what course you want your life
to follow; which of your needs are nonnegotiable and where you can afford to be
flexible. Find ways to develop your selfesteem and self-validation – it’s important
to believe in your own worth. Bear in mind
that you have to be whole and healthy
before becoming half of a marriage team
again and that all of this work will pave

…IT’S IMPORTANT TO SEE DIVORCE AS THE END
OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP – NOT THE END OF YOUR
LIFE. EMBRACE THIS TIME NOT AS A TRAGEDY, BUT AS
A JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY AND AN
OPPORTUNITY FOR A NEW BEGINNING…
It sounds like a misnomer, but as with
any life-changing development, pain inevitably stimulates growth, if we allow it
to. Why it should be that suffering is the
catalyst for wisdom and maturity is one
of life’s great mysteries – and the subject
of a different article. It seems that’s just
the way it is.
While we never invite it in, if pain does
come our way, the secret to survival is to
seek out and learn from the opportunities it exposes. And that’s where the
hard work, and the rewards, live.
“Divorce demands major adjustments
and these cannot be minimised,” says
Sheila. “But it’s important to see it as the
end of your relationship – not the end of
your life. Embrace this time not as a
tragedy, but as a journey of self-discovery
and an opportunity for a new beginning”.
So, for people struggling with the
effects of divorce, just what are these

SHOA TOUR:
THE JEWISH JOURNEY

the way for you to embrace anothe