CHAPTER XXVIII 408
My rest might have been blissful enough , only a sad heart broke it . It plained of its gaping wounds , its inward bleeding , its riven chords . It trembled for Mr . Rochester and his doom ; it bemoaned him with bitter pity ; it demanded him with ceaseless longing ; and , impotent as a bird with both wings broken , it still quivered its shattered pinions in vain attempts to seek him .
Worn out with this torture of thought , I rose to my knees . Night was come , and her planets were risen : a safe , still night : too serene for the companionship of fear . We know that God is everywhere ; but certainly we feel His presence most when His works are on the grandest scale spread before us ; and it is in the unclouded night-sky , where His worlds wheel their silent course , that we read clearest His infinitude , His omnipotence , His omnipresence . I had risen to my knees to pray for Mr . Rochester . Looking up , I , with tear-dimmed eyes , saw the mighty Milky-way . Remembering what it was -- what countless systems there swept space like a soft trace of light -- I felt the might and strength of God . Sure was I of His efficiency to save what He had made : convinced I grew that neither earth should perish , nor one of the souls it treasured . I turned my prayer to thanksgiving : the Source of Life was also the Saviour of spirits . Mr . Rochester was safe ; he was God ' s , and by God would he be guarded . I again nestled to the breast of the hill ; and ere long in sleep forgot sorrow .
But next day , Want came to me pale and bare . Long after the little birds had left their nests ; long after bees had come in the sweet prime of day to gather the heath honey before the dew was dried -- when the long morning shadows were curtailed , and the sun filled earth and sky -- I got up , and I looked round me .
What a still , hot , perfect day ! What a golden desert this spreading moor ! Everywhere sunshine . I wished I could live in it and on it . I saw a lizard run over the crag ; I saw a bee busy among the sweet bilberries . I would fain at the moment have become bee or lizard , that I might have found fitting nutriment , permanent shelter here . But I was a human being , and had a human being ' s wants : I must not linger where there was nothing to supply them . I rose ; I looked back at the bed I had left . Hopeless of the future , I