CHAPTER XXVIII 409
wished but this -- that my Maker had that night thought good to require my soul of me while I slept ; and that this weary frame , absolved by death from further conflict with fate , had now but to decay quietly , and mingle in peace with the soil of this wilderness . Life , however , was yet in my possession , with all its requirements , and pains , and responsibilities . The burden must be carried ; the want provided for ; the suffering endured ; the responsibility fulfilled . I set out .
Whitcross regained , I followed a road which led from the sun , now fervent and high . By no other circumstance had I will to decide my choice . I walked a long time , and when I thought I had nearly done enough , and might conscientiously yield to the fatigue that almost overpowered me -- might relax this forced action , and , sitting down on a stone I saw near , submit resistlessly to the apathy that clogged heart and limb -- I heard a bell chime -- a church bell .
I turned in the direction of the sound , and there , amongst the romantic hills , whose changes and aspect I had ceased to note an hour ago , I saw a hamlet and a spire . All the valley at my right hand was full of pasture-fields , and cornfields , and wood ; and a glittering stream ran zig-zag through the varied shades of green , the mellowing grain , the sombre woodland , the clear and sunny lea . Recalled by the rumbling of wheels to the road before me , I saw a heavily-laden waggon labouring up the hill , and not far beyond were two cows and their drover . Human life and human labour were near . I must struggle on : strive to live and bend to toil like the rest .
About two o ' clock p . m . I entered the village . At the bottom of its one street there was a little shop with some cakes of bread in the window . I coveted a cake of bread . With that refreshment I could perhaps regain a degree of energy : without it , it would be difficult to proceed . The wish to have some strength and some vigour returned to me as soon as I was amongst my fellow-beings . I felt it would be degrading to faint with hunger on the causeway of a hamlet . Had I nothing about me I could offer in exchange for one of these rolls ? I considered . I had a small silk handkerchief tied round my throat ; I had my gloves . I could hardly tell how men and women in extremities of destitution proceeded . I did not know whether either of these