CHAPTER XXIV 347
The system thus entered on , I pursued during the whole season of probation ; and with the best success . He was kept , to be sure , rather cross and crusty ; but on the whole I could see he was excellently entertained , and that a lamb-like submission and turtle-dove sensibility , while fostering his despotism more , would have pleased his judgment , satisfied his common-sense , and even suited his taste less .
In other people ' s presence I was , as formerly , deferential and quiet ; any other line of conduct being uncalled for : it was only in the evening conferences I thus thwarted and afflicted him . He continued to send for me punctually the moment the clock struck seven ; though when I appeared before him now , he had no such honeyed terms as " love " and " darling " on his lips : the best words at my service were " provoking puppet ," " malicious elf ," " sprite ," " changeling ," & c . For caresses , too , I now got grimaces ; for a pressure of the hand , a pinch on the arm ; for a kiss on the cheek , a severe tweak of the ear . It was all right : at present I decidedly preferred these fierce favours to anything more tender . Mrs . Fairfax , I saw , approved me : her anxiety on my account vanished ; therefore I was certain I did well . Meantime , Mr . Rochester affirmed I was wearing him to skin and bone , and threatened awful vengeance for my present conduct at some period fast coming . I laughed in my sleeve at his menaces . " I can keep you in reasonable check now ," I reflected ; " and I don ' t doubt to be able to do it hereafter : if one expedient loses its virtue , another must be devised ."
Yet after all my task was not an easy one ; often I would rather have pleased than teased him . My future husband was becoming to me my whole world ; and more than the world : almost my hope of heaven . He stood between me and every thought of religion , as an eclipse intervenes between man and the broad sun . I could not , in those days , see God for His creature : of whom I had made an idol .