CHAPTER XXIV 346
" Indeed it was: I had as good a right to die when my time came as he had: but I should bide that time, and not be hurried away in a suttee."
" Would I forgive him for the selfish idea, and prove my pardon by a reconciling kiss?"
" No: I would rather be excused."
Here I heard myself apostrophised as a " hard little thing;" and it was added, " any other woman would have been melted to marrow at hearing such stanzas crooned in her praise."
I assured him I was naturally hard-- very flinty, and that he would often find me so; and that, moreover, I was determined to show him divers rugged points in my character before the ensuing four weeks elapsed: he should know fully what sort of a bargain he had made, while there was yet time to rescind it.
" Would I be quiet and talk rationally?"
" I would be quiet if he liked, and as to talking rationally, I flattered myself I was doing that now."
He fretted, pished, and pshawed. " Very good," I thought; " you may fume and fidget as you please: but this is the best plan to pursue with you, I am certain. I like you more than I can say; but I ' ll not sink into a bathos of sentiment: and with this needle of repartee I ' ll keep you from the edge of the gulf too; and, moreover, maintain by its pungent aid that distance between you and myself most conducive to our real mutual advantage."
From less to more, I worked him up to considerable irritation; then, after he had retired, in dudgeon, quite to the other end of the room, I got up, and saying, " I wish you good-night, sir," in my natural and wonted respectful manner, I slipped out by the side-door and got away.