CHAPTER XXIV 346
" Indeed it was : I had as good a right to die when my time came as he had : but I should bide that time , and not be hurried away in a suttee ."
" Would I forgive him for the selfish idea , and prove my pardon by a reconciling kiss ?"
" No : I would rather be excused ."
Here I heard myself apostrophised as a " hard little thing ;" and it was added , " any other woman would have been melted to marrow at hearing such stanzas crooned in her praise ."
I assured him I was naturally hard -- very flinty , and that he would often find me so ; and that , moreover , I was determined to show him divers rugged points in my character before the ensuing four weeks elapsed : he should know fully what sort of a bargain he had made , while there was yet time to rescind it .
" Would I be quiet and talk rationally ?"
" I would be quiet if he liked , and as to talking rationally , I flattered myself I was doing that now ."
He fretted , pished , and pshawed . " Very good ," I thought ; " you may fume and fidget as you please : but this is the best plan to pursue with you , I am certain . I like you more than I can say ; but I ' ll not sink into a bathos of sentiment : and with this needle of repartee I ' ll keep you from the edge of the gulf too ; and , moreover , maintain by its pungent aid that distance between you and myself most conducive to our real mutual advantage ."
From less to more , I worked him up to considerable irritation ; then , after he had retired , in dudgeon , quite to the other end of the room , I got up , and saying , " I wish you good-night , sir ," in my natural and wonted respectful manner , I slipped out by the side-door and got away .