Half Your Deen
All married persons would
love to feel that deep
connection with their
spouse that they can go
to them with whatever is
worrying them, and that
the other person in turn
would be their comfort and
strength.
When the Prophet (pbuh)
had his first encounter
with Angel Gabriel at
the time of the first
revelation, it was a very
strange experience. His
first instinct was to seek
comfort in Khadija (RA).
He hastened home and
cried to Khadija: ‘Cover
me! Cover me!’ She laid
him down, placing a cloak
over him, and as soon as
he had recovered himself a
little he told her what had
happened. The Prophet
was in fear for himself.
She held him close and told
him:
“Never! By God, God will never
disgrace you. You keep good
relations with your relatives,
help the poor, serve your guests
generously, and assist those hit
with calamities.”
What a tremendous
support she was to him!
Small things that
mean a lot; open
display of affection
and romance
Aisha RA would comb the
hair of the Prophet (pbuh)
and wash his hair.
Aisha RA would drink
from a cup. The Prophet
(pbuh)would take this
cup and search for the
place where the lips of
his beloved wife made
contact. Upon finding the
place where his wife drank
from the cup, he would put
his lips on the very same
38 | Ihsaan | Issue 1
place so that his lips have
touched the place where
her lips touched. He would
then drink the contents of
the cup at the same time
enjoying union with his
spouse. When there was
meat to eat, Aisha (RA)
would take a bite. The
Prophet (pbuh) would take
the meat from her hand
and again place his mouth
the very same place where
his wife ate from.
The Prophet (pbuh) would
kiss his wife regularly.
Even when he would be
fasting, he would kiss his
wife.
Cute, loving nicknames
The Prophet (pbuh) would
call his wife ‘Humairā’’ out
of love. Linguistically it
means the little reddish
one, but the scholars state
that in reality it refers to
someone who is so fair that
due to the sun they get a
reddish tan. This was the
reason why the Prophet
(pbuh) called her Humaira’
Helping in the home
Aisha RA was asked about
the manners of the Prophet
in his home and she
replied: He was helping in
doing the family duties and
when he hears the call of
prayer he goes out.
She also replied: He washes
his clothes, milks his ewe,
and serves himself.
And in another narration:
He sews his clothes, cleans
his shoes and does what
men generally do in their
homes.
Here we are talking about
a husband who had all the
responsibilities of a headof-state, in today’s termslike a President and more.
Yet he had no pride in
sharing chores, or saw that as the sole responsibility
of his wives.
Showing love and respect to in-laws
Another great factor to contribute to a healthy
relationship is to love and cherish the family of your
spouse.
The Prophet (pbuh)was once asked whom he loved
the most. He replied, “Aisha.” When the questioner
rephrased his question and asked from amongst the
men, he replied, “Her father.”
Being mature and responsible
The Prophet (pbuh) in all his duties as the
Last Messenger was careful not to neglect the
responsibilities he had towards his wives.
One of his companions asked:“O Prophet of Allah,
what are the rights of my wife? He said: To feed her
when you eat, clothe her when you clothe, don’t beat
her face, don’t abuse her and don’t desert her except in
home”.
Often when spouses get angry with each other, it is
usual to become fixated on the negatives in the other
person’s character. The Prophet’s (pbuh) philosophy on
this was:
“The faithful husband should not hate his faithful wife, because
if he hates certain manner in her character, then he should not
forget the other good manners in her character”.