Case Study
Sad but true –
dealing with grief
What a Performance!
A look at grieving and resilience with Trevor Eddolls
A case Study
by Sandra Churchill
A
T
client we’ll call Peter was referred
to me presenting panic attacks and
general raised anxiety levels. He was
he ?rst time I had a client with
in his mid thirties and had been su?ering
grief issues, I wasn’t quite sure
to the degree that he was actually signed o?
what to do. I knew they needed
work.
to get into their control brain and out of
their emotionalclient whobut I wasn’t sure
brain, took the sessions very
Peter was a model
what stages of grief they had tolittle skeptical
seriously, although initially he was a go through
or whether my experiences dutifully listened
about Hypnotherapy. However, he of loss were of
any value in this situation.
to the CD every night, and also decided to start
attending Yoga with his wife with the result that his
Grief usually follows greatly reduced.
panic attacks were soon a loss. A person can grieve
for a dead family member, and they can also
grieve change was re?ected inhome, a job, even a
This for lost friends, a lost our sessions with a
country. Whatever miracle question. Heperson can
new focus for his form the loss takes, a explained
experience grief.
how he used to run and how he would like to take up
running again. By session three he reported that he
Watching TV programmes and ?lms, you’ and by
had started exercising again on a daily basis d think
everyone went through the ?ve stages ofwas lower
session ?ve reported that the his weight grief that
were ?rst speci?ed the last 10 years.
than it had been forby Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her
book On Death and Dying. The stages are:
? Denial – “I feel ?ne”; “This can’t be happening to
This success provided even greater motivation
andme”.decided to go back to the running club that
he
? used to–run with on a Sunday morning. Hethis
Anger “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can ran
he
happen to a few times and mentioned that he
with the club me?”; “Who is to blame?”. People can
be like to get themselves, or with others.
would angry withhis time down as he was way o? his
? Bargaining – “I’llhad anything for a few more his
personal best and it do always been a dream of
years”; “I will
to do a triathlon! give my life savings if...”
? Depression – “I’m so sad, why bother with
anything?”; “I’m going to die soon so what’s the
We spoke about visualisation and how the brain
point?”;themiss my loved one, why go on?” and
cannot tell “I di?erence between imagination
? Acceptance – “It’ll be OK”; “I can’t couldn’t may
reality. I suggested that on the days he ?ght it, I run,
dueas well prepare for it”. he should visualise the
to work commitments,
run instead. I jokingly said “imagine knocking 30
seconds o? your time this week!” and he said he’d
be happy knocking 3 seconds o?!
But these stages were only what Kübler-Ross had
observed and were not meant to be prescriptive, only
There was a timing clock situated at the end of the
descriptive. Other researchers have not observed
circuit they ran on and he visualised what time the
people moving through these stages.
clock would read at the end of the run. He couldn’t
wait to let me know (by text on the Sunday evening!)
So, if people aren’t working their way through the
that he had actually knocked 31 seconds o? of his
?ve stages of grief, what are they doing?
time. He was now well on the way!
George Bonanno suggested that a natural
As the weeks progressed he knocked more time
resilience is the main component of grief and
o? with each run and soon beat his personal best.
trauma reactions. He came up with, what he called,
By this time he had also taken up swimming at
four trajectories of grief. He even showed that the
least twice a week as well cycling. The dream was
absence of grief or trauma symptoms is a healthy
in sight!
outcome. He found that grief responses can include
laughter, celebration, and bawdiness, as well as
Peter ?nished his sessions with me before he took
sadness (which is what you’d expect). He called
part in his ?rst triathlon but he did keep me informed
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